John 8:44
“[The devil] is a liar and the father of lies.”

Lie #1: “I can change them.”
BIG TRUTH: You can’t change their heart. Only God can if they are willing.
James 5:16
“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

You don’t change people through control. You change the atmosphere through prayer.

Reflection: Am I praying more than I’m pressuring?

Lie #2: “Marriage is 50/50.”
BIG TRUTH: God’s design is 100/100. Full sacrifice. Full love.
Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Half-hearted effort leads to whole-hearted disappointment.
Reflection: What would change if I gave 100%?

Lie #3: “This little thing isn’t a big deal.”
BIG TRUTH: You can’t hide small sins without harming trust in a big way.
Song of Solomon 2:15
“Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards.”
James 5:16
“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

You don’t manage sin. You confess it, and let God change you.
Reflection: What secret do I need to bring into the light?

Lie #4: “We’re both willing to work on it, but it’s hopeless.”
BIG TRUTH: If you’re both willing to keep showing up, to keep praying, to keep growing—your marriage can move from surviving to thriving.
Matthew 19:26
“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

1 Corinthians 7:15
“But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”

Isaiah 61:3
“…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, a garment of praise instead of a spirit of
despair.”

Psalm 34:18
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

How do I heal?
1. Feel it fully, don’t fake it.

Genesis 16:13
“You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

How do I heal?
2. Replace lies with truth.

Ephesians 6:14
“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place.”

How do I heal?
3. Run to community, not isolation.

Acts 2:46
“Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and
sincere hearts.”

How do I find a healthy relationship again?
1. Don’t chase love. Chase healing.
2. Grow strong in the waiting.
3. Learn the tools for tomorrow.

Books:
*- “Living Unbroken: Reclaiming Your Life and Your Heart After Divorce” by Tracie Miles–* Offers practical steps and
spiritual encouragement for those navigating life after divorce.
- “Forgiving What You Can’t Forget” by Lysa TerKeurst– Provides insight into the process of forgiveness and finding peace after deep hurt.
- “The Healing Path” by Dan Allender– Explores how past hurts can lead to a more abundant life through God’s healing.
YouTube Channels:

- Lysa TerKeurst– Shares personal experiences and biblical teachings on healing and forgiveness.
- Gianna Snell and Pastor Debleaire Snell– Discuss healing and thriving after divorce in a faith-based context.
- Todd Turner– Offers resources and guidance for Christians recovering from divorce.

Whole hearts attract healthy relationships.

Proverbs 4:23
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Before you look for the right person, become the right person.