Conflict 02
June 26, 2022

Conflict: Forgiveness is the Only Solution

Matthew 18:21-35 (NLT)

Conflict 02 | Mick Veach | Lead Pastor | first aired on 06.26.2022

I. Introduction

Read Scripture
21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”

22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!

23 “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. 25 He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.

26 “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ 27 Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

28 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.

29 “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. 30 But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

31 “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. 32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ 34 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

35 “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.” —Matthew 18:21-35 (NLT)

A. Review:

  1. Be reconciled with God
  2. Be reconciled with ourselves
  3. Be reconciled with others

B. The most radical of Christian discipleship—Forgiveness
C. Matthew 6:12— “Forgive our debts as we forgive our debtors”
D. When you find yourself in conflict, how do you respond?

  1. Avoider—withdrawing
  2. Forcing—win-lose, a right wrong world view/ black and white
  3. Give in—smoothing things over, accommodate, people pleasing the most important
  4. Compromise—give a little and take a little—negotiating middle ground
  5. Win-win attitude—finding a solution, reconciliation the goal

E. Jesus gives the most radical sermon in Matthew 5-7 and much of our culture does not match these teachings.
F. What kind of forgiveness is Jesus talking about?

  1. Radical forgiveness
  2. Unreasonable forgiveness
  3. Reckless forgiveness
  4. Endless forgiveness
  5. Seemingly impossible forgiveness

G. Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Is there anyone who I am critical of?
  2. Is there anyone who let me down?
  3. Is there anyone who hurt me or someone that I love?

H. Jesus reminds us in Matthew 18 that we are from another kingdom
I. If you say you are a part of this kingdom, then forgiveness is a part of your life.

II. 3 Elements of Forgiveness that we must understand:

A. Forgiveness Gives Us

Reveal Answer

  1. The servant in Matthew 18 was granted forgiveness but did not understand it.

  2. People say I can’t forgive

  3. Example of H20—You need both Hydrogen and Oxygen to make water

    a. You also need to have forgiveness on both ends to be Christian

    1. Divine Forgiveness
    2. Human Forgiveness
      b. Jesus declares in Matthew 6:14-15—You will forgive when you have been forgiven.

  4. It is important to know that conflict will continue to be evident in our life if we have not experienced true healing in our lives.

5. Key Point—The starting point for healing is forgiveness

B. Forgiveness is

Reveal Answer

  1. The servant allowed his own sense of justice to miss true freedom

    a. Getting his money was more important than extending grace.
    b. His debt was out of reach for him millions of dollars.
    c. He wanted to make his debtor pay a small amount of $5

  2. Joseph in Genesis 37-45 understood freedom:

    a. He was mistreated and sold by his brothers into slavery
    b. He now is in control of Egypt and they come to this nation for help, not knowing he was in control
    c. Joseph was gracious and forgave them
    d. Joseph saved the family and was reunited with his father

  3. Joseph was a man that was free from:

    a. Revenge—Romans 14
    b. Being the Judge

  4. Forgiveness also frees us from sin

    a. “Harmartia”—missing the mark
    b. “Opheilema”—used in the Lord’s prayer and means debt. Failure in duty, there is no man who will ever dare to claim that he has perfectly fulfilled his duty to man or God.
    c. “Anomia”—Lawlessness—I John 3:4; knows the right and yet does the wrong—the end road when there is no freedom
    d. Hardness of the heart—Romans 1
    e. Fear of love—I John 3:17-18
    f. Inability to trust—Proverbs 3:5-6

  5. Joseph was a man that would not allow people or life to dictate to him how he would respond.

  6. If you don’t find freedom in forgiveness, you will continue to be a victim

7. Key Point—The starting point for freedom is forgiveness

C. Forgiveness is

Reveal Answer

  1. Peter in Matthew 18:21 understood the rabbinic teaching that a man must forgive his brother 3 times and after that he was released from forgiveness.

  2. Peter knowing this believes he is being generous by multiplying it when he asks Jesus the amount of forgiveness. Stating 7 times?

  3. This N.T. teaching is throughout: In order to be forgiven you must be ongoing in your forgiveness

  4. Jesus is asking us in the Sermon on the Mount to actually want the best for our enemies.

  5. Example of the Amish settlement where thirteen girls shot by an insane man and half died. The community forgave and served his family

  6. Forgiveness is not:

    a. Condoning the act
    b. Forgetting the act

  7. Jesus knew this is the one weapon that nothing can stand against.

8. Key Point—Forgiveness does not have limitations

D. Next Steps:

1. Repent of known sin

2. Ask God to heal your heart

3. Ask God to help you give up the hurt that you are holding onto

4. Ask God to help you to begin the process of forgiveness

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