Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. —James 3:2 (NLT)

My words are important

1. My words direct where I go.

We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. —James 3:3-5 (NLT)

2. My words can destroy what I have.

But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. —James 3:5-6 (NLT)

3. My words display who I really am.

And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? —James 3:10-11 (NLT)

“For whatever is in your heart determines what you say.” —Matthew 12:34 (NLT)

Loving with my words

1. I love people with honest words.

…speak the truth in love… —Ephesians 4:15 (NLT)

An open rebuke is better than hidden love! —Proverbs 27:5 (NLT)

2. I love people with careful words.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. —Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)

…a gossip separates close friends. —Proverbs 16:28 (NIV)

If you talk a lot, you are sure to sin; if you are wise, you will keep quiet. —Proverbs 10:19 (NCV)

3. I love people with building words.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. —Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

Prayer

Lord, change my heart. I’m having a hard time loving. Soften my heart toward people. May I be able to empathize with them. May I be able to see their viewpoint. Help me to love them like you love them. And, help me with my words. Help me to be honest, yet kind. Help me to be careful with my words and use them to build up the people around me. And Lord, help me to listen more than I talk. I want people to know your love by the way I love them. In your name I pray, amen.

Discussion Questions:

Icebreaker: Which fictional family would you like to be a part of and why?

1. Read Ephesians 4:15. It is often easier to be nice than to be honest. How do you speak the truth in love? What is honesty without niceness? What is niceness without honesty?

2. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” – James 1:19. When do you find yourself doing the opposite of this verse? Why do we have the tendency to be “quick to speak?”

3. Today, Pastor Jeff reminded us of the THINK model. When we speak, we need to ask ourselves is what we are saying Truthful, Helpful, Inspirational, Necessary, and Kind.

Using the THINK model, discuss how you would respond in the following situations:
Your co-worker recently had a new baby, but now they find themselves struggling to find the balance between work and family.
You caught your best friend gossiping about another church member.

Going Deeper:

“But encourage each other daily, as long as it is called, ‘today,’ so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” —Hebrews 3:13

Showing your love towards others with words not only helps them not be deceived by sin, but also it helps you as well. This week, show your love with words by hand-writing one encouragement note to someone at your table (that does not live with you).