
the fam
Pt. 12 God’s Design For Divorce
Matthew 19:1-12
Marriage is for LIFE
While all cultures have different customs, marriage is God’s creation and made as a covenant between one man and one woman for life. The oneness of marriage was to be a permanent bond where spouses never separate (Gr. chorizo—to go away/put space between) but work on their marriage. While ‘I do’ is said in a moment ‘I will’ must be said in every moment (Mal. 2:14; Eph. 5:25, 33; 1 Pet. 4:8).
Divorce is ALLOWABLE
For most cultures, marriages were arranged and contractual. Husbands gave a dowery/bride price to the father so if he divorced her or she returned home, she had support (Gen. 31:14, 15). In ancient Israel (c. 1400 BC) God allowed divorce if a wife had been indecent (Heb. ervah, ‘naked exposure’; As adultery was already punishable by death, this variance was also of a sexual nature; Lev. 20:10; Deut. 24:1). By Jesus’ time (30 AD), men had abused this allowance for ‘any cause’ creating serial monogamy. This meant their divorces were not lawful, making them adulterers (Matt. 5:31). God didn’t create loopholes to leave, He desired lifelines to stay. Greek, Roman, and Jewish cultures allowed both men and women to divorce (Mark 10:11, 12). But marriage was to only end by death (covenant permanently destroyed), adultery (covenant broken with someone else), an unbeliever abandoning a believer (covenant forsaken; 1 Cor. 7:1-16). Divorce is never a command of God but a concession from God. Ideally, repentance and reconciliation are God’s will to repair relationships. There are no marriages that can’t work, there are just marriages where spouses stopped working! The Bible doesn’t mention divorce for physical or emotional issues, as ‘abuse’ could be used to arbitrarily get out of any marriage. But, spouses should call authorities and remove themselves and children from dangerous environments. Create healthy, biblical boundaries. Separation and celibacy are allowed in severe issues or violence until a resolution can be mediated or is permanent if no resolution is desired by the other spouse. Remarriage is allowed in a biblical divorce or reconciliation with the former spouse if they’re still single. Putting a marriage to death breaks God’s heart as it is devastating relationally, financially, and spiritually. God can forgive all bad choices and wants marriages to be healthy, happy, and holy!