#7 Talking It Out - Part 3
Part of Friends! Series—Secrets For Enjoyable and Lasting Relationships Series
June 17, 2023

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James 1:19-20 (TPT) My dearest brothers and sisters, take this to heart: Be quick to listen, but slow to speak. And be slow to become angry, for human anger is never a legitimate tool to promote God’s righteous purpose.

1. To relate to others, we must understand and - communication.

In communication with someone:

• Actual = 7% of communication.

of words = 38% of communication.

and other non-verbals = 55% of communication.

• 93% of your communication has little to do with your !

2. is also a vital interpersonal skill.

How can we become better listeners?

• Be present and focused.

• Turn towards the person; lean in.

• Give encouragement to the speakers.

• Restate and seek clarification.

• Shut down your internal “response planning.”

• Shut down your need to “top” the talker.

• Listen for common ground.

3. is a key interpersonal skill.


Romans 5:10 (NIV) For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!


Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV) Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.


2 Corinthians 5:18 (NIV) All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.

We reconcile best when we:

• Attack problems, not people.

• Understand perspectives.

• Know what matters and what doesn’t.

• Communicate the common ground.

• Remember the goal. It’s resolving, not winning.

• Yield when appropriate.

How do we reconcile when we have been hurt or have hurt others?

• Understand the pain.

• Own your part.

• Apologize for your part.

• Ask for forgiveness.

• Decide ahead of time—forgiveness!

• Let it go.




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