What Happy Couples Know - It’s a Choice

“What is the most important thing you do in a relationship?”
This truth actually applies to all relationships…

What DO happy couples know? Hopes, dreams, and desires can feel like expectations … so they decide:
• Happy couples decide they owe each other everything but are owed nothing in return.
• It’s a submission competition.
They know one other thing as well. They know they have a choice.
• Happy couples know they have a choice.

1 Corinthians 13:1–7
1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

In every relationship, there are gaps between what we expect and what we experience. He’s late/budget/didn’t call/didn’t pay it. We place something in that gap. Love chooses … happy couples choose to believe the best.

This positive illusion created an upward spiral of love.
• Illusion created conviction.
• Conviction led to security.
• Security fostered intimacy.
• Intimacy fostered love.
• Find the most generous explanation for each other’s behavior and believe it.

Two Biggest Obstacles:
1. What we experience
He’s late again. She forgot again. He didn’t call again.
2. Who we are
We bring ourselves/history/baggage/fear/ insecurity. Certain behaviors trigger specific responses.

But, we can still choose to believe the best in spite of both; provide a generous explanation. With that in mind, listen again to this inspired ancient wisdom:

6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.

Happy couples know it’s a choice.
It’s your choice every single time.
Objection: “But he … she …” It’s still your choice. The other option certainly won’t move the relationship forward.
What is your other option?
• Delights in uncovering mistakes
• Thrives on speculation
• Assumes the worst
• Embraces doubt
That doesn’t work.

Because happy couples know believing the best is a choice. It’s the happy choice and that’s what happy couples know.
As much as I hope your relationships/marriages improve, the ultimate agenda is that you would begin or re-begin a relationship with God by choosing to follow Jesus.
That’s a decision you will never regret. That’s a relationship what will enrich all your other relationships.