The Danger of Bitterness

2 Samuel 16:15-23
Darrin Mariott, Lead Pastor

Big Idea: Unresolved bitterness is corrosive to our soul and to our relationship
with the Lord.
2 Samuel 16:15-23
15 Now Absalom and all the people, the men of Israel, came to Jerusalem, and Ahithophel with him.16 And when Hushai the Archite, David’s friend, came to Absalom, Hushai said to Absalom, “Long live the king! Long live the king!”17 And Absalom said to Hushai, “Is this your loyalty to your friend? Why did you not go with your friend?”18 And Hushai said to Absalom, “No, for whom the LORD and this people and all the men of Israel have chosen, his I will be, and with him I will remain.19 And again, whom should I serve? Should it not be his son? As I have served your father, so I will serve you.”20 Then Absalom said to Ahithophel, “Give your counsel. What shall we do?”21 Ahithophel said to Absalom, “Go in to your father’s concubines, whom he has left to keep the house, and all Israel will hear that you have made yourself a stench to your father, and the hands of all who are with you will be strengthened.”22 So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof. And Absalom went in to his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel.23 Now in those days the counsel that Ahithophel gave was as if one consulted the word of God; so was all the counsel of Ahithophel esteemed, both by David and by Absalom.

I. Ahithophel’s Bitter Root (vv. 15, 23; 2 Sam. 17:1)

A. Now that Absalom has entered Jerusalem, he looks to solidify
his power and he does this by seeking the advice of Ahithophel,
David’s esteemed counselor (v. 23). Why would Ahithophel, a
man David trusted and respected, so readily turn on the king?

B. We see in Ahithophel’s actions:

1. A long-simmering anger (cf. 2 Sam. 23:34; 11:3) –
Ahithophel was nursing a grudge against David.
2 Samuel 23:34; 11:3
34 Eliphelet the son of Ahasbai of Maacah, Eliam the son of Ahithophel the Gilonite

2. A desire to humiliate David (v. 20-23) – Ahithophel didn’t
just want to depose David, he wanted to humiliate him.

3. A desire to hurt David (cf. 2 Sam. 17:1-4) – Ahithophel
wanted to kill David himself, making it personal.
2 Samuel 17:1-4
1 Moreover, Ahithophel said to Absalom, “Let me choose twelve thousand men, and I will arise and pursue David tonight.2 I will come upon him while he is weary and discouraged and throw him into a panic, and all the people who are with him will flee. I will strike down only the king3 and I will bring all the people back to you as a bride comes home to her husband. You seek the life of only one man, and all the people will be at peace.”4 And the advice seemed right in the eyes of Absalom and all the elders of Israel.

C. Ahithophel’s problem here was not so much that he was angry
at David’s sinful actions with Bathsheba, but that he let this
anger simmer until it became a bitter pill that poisoned his mind
and his soul. What Ahithophel should have done was address
his anger right away (cf. Eph. 4:26-27; Heb. 12:15).
Ephesians 4:26-27
26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger27 and give no opportunity to the devil.
Hebrews 12:15
15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled

II. Ahithophel’s Bitter Fruit (vv. 20-23; 2 Sam. 17:1-4, 23)

A. Ahithophel’s bitterness toward David has far-reaching
consequences that impact not only him, but others as well. Truth
is that bitterness never pays. Even if we are justified in our
initial anger, bitterness always leads us down a dark road toward
alienation and death.

B. We see Ahithophel’s bitterness result in:

2. A destroyed friendship (cf. Ps. 55:12-14).
Psalm 55:12-14
1 Moreover, Ahithophel said to Absalom, “Let me choose twelve thousand men, and I will arise and pursue David tonight.2 I will come upon him while he is weary and discouraged and throw him into a panic, and all the people who are with him will flee. I will strike down only the king3 and I will bring all the people back to you as a bride comes home to her husband. You seek the life of only one man, and all the people will be at peace.”4 And the advice seemed right in the eyes of Absalom and all the elders of Israel.

3. A loss of hope (cf. 2 Sam. 17:23).
2 Samuel 17:23
12 For it is not an enemy who taunts me— then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me— then I could hide from him.13 But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend.14 We used to take sweet counsel together; within God’s house we walked in the throng.

C. We combat bitterness by:
1 peter 2:20-24
1. Recognizing the cost of unresolved anger (cf. Matt. 6:9-15).
Mathew 6:9-15
9 Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.10 Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.11 Give us this day our daily bread12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.