Ephesians 4:14–15; Ephesians 4:25–32
In our recent study of 1 Corinthians 13, we examined a text commonly associated with weddings. While it beautifully describes love—being patient, kind, not boastful or proud—Paul’s intention was much broader. He wasn’t writing with weddings in mind; rather, he emphasized that it’s possible to be religious, biblically knowledgeable, active in ministry, and morally upright yet still lack a heart transformed by the supernatural love of God. This love, a sign of a transformed heart, “rejoices with the truth.”
1 Corinthians 13:6 ESV
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Instead of revisiting 1 Corinthians 13 each week, we’ve explored other passages to delve deeper into these signs of a changed heart. Today, we’re focusing on the concept of integrity, as illustrated in Ephesians. Integrity, or truth-telling, is one of the critical indicators of genuine transformation. Some argue that we are facing a cultural crisis of integrity, with recent events providing evidence of this.
For example, in 2015, Volkswagen made headlines when it was revealed that they had installed software in 11 million cars specifically to lie about emissions levels. The company wanted to claim that their cars delivered high mileage, low emissions, and high performance. However, this software misled regulators and consumers about the pollutants released into the environment. This situation highlights a serious failure of integrity within a major corporation. Yet, society largely met this revelation with indifference.
TRUTH-TELLING IS ESSENTIAL TO OUR LIVES AND OUR COMMUNITIES.
Let’s examine why integrity, specifically truth-telling, is essential to our lives and to our communities.
Ephesians 4:14-15 provides both a summary of Paul’s previous teachings and a thesis for what follows. Here, Paul emphasizes that the Christian community is about fellowship or inspiration and spiritual growth and transformation. The aim is that we would “no longer be children” but grow up in every way into him who is Christ.
This isn’t just a call to moral improvement. It’s about radical, supernatural character change—becoming like Christ in love, wisdom, humility, and joy.
Ephesians 4:22–24 ESV
to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
This passage urges us to “put off the old self” with its empty desires and “put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” This transformation is profound, addressing the very core of who we are. Now, if there’s anybody in this room, and I hope there is, who has a realistic estimate of both your flaws and weaknesses, this should make your mouth water. This is the transformation that leads you to become your true self.
SANCTIFICATION IS A COMMUNITY PROJECT
However, this transformation doesn’t happen in isolation. Paul argues that it happens through community—a community that speaks truth in love. Why? The things that shaped who we are today, including our weaknesses, flaws, and insecurities, didn’t arise solely from our own choices. Much of it came from the communities we grew up in—our families, schools, and social environments.
To experience real transformation, we must immerse ourselves in a community as impactful as a family—a counter-cultural, truth-speaking body of believers.
Paul emphasizes that integrity and truth-telling are not optional for Christians; they are both a sign of and a path to a supernaturally changed heart.
Ephesians 4:25 ESV
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.
Truth-telling is crucial for any community, especially the Christian community, where we are “members of one body.” This concept of being members—like parts of a body—implies a deep interconnectedness. In such a community, lying creates separation, while truth-telling fosters unity.
Verse 25 instructs us to “put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor,” highlighting the need for truth in all relationships, not just within the church. Truth-telling is foundational to all human society.
Imagine a society without trust, where promises aren’t kept, leaders are expected to lie, contracts are disregarded, and even teachers and religious leaders are suspected of dishonesty. Such a society would crumble because human life and interaction depend on trust. Without truth, economies collapse, justice becomes unattainable, and life becomes chaotic.
Václav Havel once argued that communism ultimately collapsed because it was built on lies. Life falls apart in a society where people can’t trust the government, newspapers, banks, doctors, or each other.
Havel’s essay, The Power of the Powerless, suggests that truth-telling is transformative. Without it, human life is impossible, and each lie becomes an assault on the very fabric of society. Truth is the foundation upon which a community is built; without it, both relationships and society disintegrate.
TRUTH-TELLING WITHOUT LOVE ISN’T REALLY ABOUT TRUTH.
In Ephesians 4, Paul makes a powerful point about truth and love, emphasizing that they must go hand in hand. Truth-telling without love is not truly about conveying truth; instead, it can become a means to assert oneself, score points, or appear superior. Such truth is often harsh and self-centered, focused on the speaker’s benefit rather than the good of the listener.
LOVE WITHOUT TRUTH-TELLING ISN’T GENUINE LOVE.
On the other hand, love without truth-telling isn’t genuine love. Love that refuses to confront is often driven by a selfish desire to avoid conflict or discomfort. For example, a parent who doesn’t correct his child’s harmful behavior may think they are sparing them pain. However, by not confronting them, they’re depriving them of growth and understanding. This failure to tell the truth results in them facing greater challenges in their relationships because they were not given the chance to understand how their behavior impacts others.
Paul’s message is clear: we exploit and disempower others without truth. For instance, if someone sells a house with hidden structural issues without disclosing them, they exploit the buyer by concealing reality. In the same way, failing to be honest with those we love can leave them ill-equipped to navigate life.
Paul emphasizes in verse 15 that truth and love must be inseparable.
TRUTH WITHOUT LOVE CAN BE DAMAGING, AND LOVE WITHOUT TRUTH CAN BE WEAK OR MISLEADING.
The unity of truth and love is essential for a functioning world and a strong community. The world doesn’t work without truth-telling, and truth-telling doesn’t work without love. Now you see the importance of verse 15. The world is at stake!
Regarding practical application, Paul and other biblical writers give principles that show us what speaking the truth in love entails.
TRUE, LOVING SPEECH DOES NOT DECEIVE AND ALWAYS SEEKS TO BUILD OTHERS UP.
Deceptive speech, even if technically true, can mislead by what it omits or implies. For example, in verse 14, Paul contrasts truth-telling with being “cunning” and “crafty,” which implies trickery. Thus, telling the truth isn’t merely about factual correctness but honesty and clarity that doesn’t hide or manipulate. Let’s look at some common ways we can fall short of truthful, loving speech:
Exaggeration: Common in close relationships, phrases like “You always…” or “You never…” can wound by overstating faults.
Word Inflation: Using exaggerated praise like “It was amazing!” too often can create cynicism and erode trust.
You say, “Well, those aren’t lies.” No, but they actually are keeping reality away from people. And they make people cynical.
Benevolent Lies: Avoiding hard truths out of “kindness,” like not confronting a loved one’s destructive habits, actually harms them by keeping them from reality. We excuse our behavior by saying “I don’t want to hurt them”. When in reality it’s you don’t want the displeasure and pain of having to do it. It’s really all about you.
Go to 1 Samuel, look at Eli and failing to confront his sons, look at David and failing to confront Absalom and go and see how benevolent lives our lives are, excuse me.
In addition to avoiding deception, loving truth-telling also requires a careful choice of words and tone. Verse 31 warns against malicious speech like bitterness, rage, and slander.
UNLOVING SPEECH ACTS ARE NOT DESIGNED TO EDIFY.
Ephesians 4:31 ESV
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
Paul advises us not to communicate with sarcasm, disdain, or hostility. In today’s social media age, where these behaviors are often rewarded, we must be even more vigilant about speaking with grace and respect.
Ephesians 4:29 ESV
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
But Paul’s guidance goes further than tone. In verse 29, he encourages us not to let “unwholesome talk” come from our mouths. This doesn’t only mean avoiding untruths but also avoiding anything that doesn’t build others up. The purpose of our words should be to strengthen and benefit those who hear them.
Before we speak, we need to examine our motives. Are we speaking to help the other person, to build a connection, to feel in control, or to win an argument? If we’re honest, many times, we speak not to benefit others but to benefit ourselves.
Paul’s call to “speak the truth in love” challenges us to check our motives, timing, and tone. Only when we align these with a genuine desire to uplift and edify others can our words reflect truth and love.
How Can We Become People Like This?
Our world struggles with honesty. Sociologists and psychologists tell us that we lie far more often than we care to admit. There’s widespread dishonesty—perhaps more than ever—as communication shifts from face-to-face to online exchanges where malice and deceit easily thrive. As a result, trust is eroding in our communities and institutions.
Why do we lie? It often boils down to approval, power, and control. We tell “approval-seeking lies” because we want others to like us or avoid conflict. We tell “power-seeking lies” to gain influence, wealth, or status. We tell “control-seeking lies” to avoid accountability, dodge criticism, or manipulate circumstances. Lies are our attempt to fill the deep insecurities of our souls.
But how can we escape this pattern? Only by receiving approval, power, and control that can’t be shaken. Ephesians 4:32 points us to the solution:
Ephesians 4:32 ESV
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
At first, this might seem unrelated to truthfulness, but forgiveness is the ultimate union of truth and love.
Forgiving someone requires honesty. You have to acknowledge the real hurt done to you and its cost. It’s tempting to brush it off, to say, “It’s fine; it didn’t hurt.” But that isn’t honesty; without honesty, you can’t truly forgive.
Be honest, tell the truth to yourself, and tell the truth to the person, but then love the person by bearing the cost yourself. When you have an opportunity to make the perpetrator pay by making them uncomfortable, don’t do it. When you’ve got an opportunity to make the perpetrator pay by tearing down their reputation, don’t do it. Don’t sit around and nurse your grudge inside your heart against the perpetrator. Every time you don’t do it, it hurts. It hurts because you’re paying for it.
Paul doesn’t say forgive; he says, Forgive as God in Christ forgave you. Why did He go to the cross? Because he was committed to truth. Christ, in his perfection, could not look down at all the evil in this world and say, “Oh, well, you know, that’s just human being human.” No, He was so committed to the truth that He went to the cross because sin requires payment. The cross demonstrates Christ’s commitment to the truth and shows His commitment to love.
John 18:37 ESV
Then Pilate said to him, “So you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world—to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice.”
Jesus told the truth because of love.
At the same time, forgiveness demands love. Even when you have every reason to make the other person pay, you choose not to. You bear the cost of forgiveness in yourself, which hurts because you’re absorbing the debt.
Forgiving “as God in Christ forgave you” means looking to the cross, where we see the ultimate expression of truth and love. Jesus was so committed to the truth that He willingly faced the cross, refusing to dismiss our sins. He paid the cost Himself out of love, bearing the debt we could never pay. His sacrifice brings us the ultimate approval as God’s beloved. His love will fill us up in a way that no one else’s love could; there’s power. And it brings true control, as we trust in God’s plan rather than manipulating circumstances for ourselves.
In Christ, we have everything we need. We no longer need to lie to get approval, power, or control—these are already ours in astonishing proportions. In fact, lying only weakens our connection to them.
Consider the story of Pinocchio, the animated puppet suspended between two realities: he could either embrace truth and become real or succumb to lies and lose even his humanity. However, Pinocchio ultimately saves himself in his story, achieving transformation through his own efforts.
The gospel is different. In Ephesians, Paul reveals that we cannot bring about this transformation alone. The grace we need isn’t something we earn by telling the truth or doing good; it is a gift won for us by Jesus. Only through Him can we become our true selves, fully alive and real.
JESUS IS NOT OUR EXAMPLE TO FOLLOW BUT AN EXPERIENCE TO FLESH OUT.
WE FLESH THIS OUT THROUGH MEDITATION AND SUPPLICATION. MEDITATION IS WHERE WE CONSIDER WHAT IS REAL, AND SUPPLICATION IS WHERE WE CALL OUT TO GOD TO MAKE IT REAL.
So go to Him, believe in Him, and find in Him the freedom to live in truth, forgiven and transformed.