THE KING’S COMMANDS FOR A
SACRED MARRIAGE
Ephesians 5:22-31
I. INTRODUCTION:
A. Reviewing Christ’s two-fold purpose in making your
marriage sacred:
1. Redemption:
2. Peace:
Peace defined: “Peace” means to bind together that which
has been broken or joining together that which has been separated.
Separated parts are set at one again. When things (people) are
disjointed, there is lack of harmony and absence of an inner sense of
well-being. The opposite of peace is division or strife. Peace can be
described as a cessation of war or an inner harmonious quietness
even in adverse circumstances when your world appears to be falling
apart. Christ’s peace is completely independent of outward
circumstances and people. Either mate who rejects his/her role in
marriage to maintain peace for the sake of preserving the marriage or
stability for children in the home, place themselves and their marriage
on a perilous course with Christ.
“The pre-determined plan of Christ as King is to bring salvation and
peace to a sinful world.” Christ’s purpose “all people” Lk. 2:10,14; Jn.
3:16; 10:10b; Lk. 19:10
B. Reviewing Christ’s contrasting roles for every marriage:
1. Equal yet different roles:
a. “A servant-leader is a husband who makes
decisions for his wife and children that from Christ’s perspective,
are the best thing for them, at the expense of himself. Being a
servant leader is responsibility, not rank; it is a sacrifice, not
selfishness; it is duty, not domination. The daily sting of his own
death to self, is always the beginning point for his servant-
leadership.” (Lk. 22:25-26; Eph. 5:25)
b. “A helper is a wife who is a husband lover and a
child lover, giving the woman a dual role in a marriage. Being
a husband lover simply means being available to him, giving
him time, energy, prioritizing him over anyone and everything
(including her career, ministry, family relationships,
activities) but Christ; giving thought and creativity to
continually building him up at the expense of criticizing and
tearing him down. Her husband needs the awesome power of
her “being there” to be unleashed on him and If Christ
blesses her with children, they will also need this attention,
support, and love unleashed on them, while continuing to
prioritize her husband.” (Tit. 2:4-5)
2. “As unto the Lord”, your obedient act of worship:
(Eph. 5:22)
Worship – (proskuneo) – “to kiss toward” conveying the
idea of showing reverence or surrendering obeisance. It is a
subjective feeling of awe, reverent humility, and respect as well as an
objective activity of bowing, praising, prioritizing, and serving in
prompt obedience. It is defined simply in Isaiah 46:6b as “they fall
down, yea, they worship”. It very rarely in Scripture (less than 20%)
has anything to do with music evidenced by a journey through any
Bible concordance. The religious community again has chosen to
redefine a Biblical term to make it less convicting and more palatable
to our “Christian” culture. (Ex. 20:3, 5) (Idolatry is placing work,
ministry, relationships, and activities ahead of Christ)
a. The point of “bending the knee”:
b. The wrong object of “bending the knee”:
C. Why Christ’s marital commands face resistance with
believers in spite of the future guaranteed benefits: (We
need commands from the King because we won’t do it on
our own.) (I Tim. 6:14-16; I Cor. 6:19-20 - you are not your
own)
II. COMMANDS THAT PUT “TEETH” TO YOUR MARITAL
ROLES: (Eph. 5:22-31)
A. “Bowing the knee” (worship) to Christ’s commands for
every husband:
- Love their wives (after the fact): vv. 23, 25, 28-29, 33
- Lead them: v. 23 (Compare Gen. 3:6 with 3:16)
- Nurture them in the things of Christ: v. 29
- Be faithful to them for life: v. 31 (Mt. 19:3-9)
- Financially provide for them: (Eph. 6:5-9; I Tim. 5:8)
B. “Bowing the knee” (worship) to Christ’s commands for
every wife:
1. Submit to husband’s leadership: vv. 22-24
(Gen. 3:16; I Tim. 2:11-15; Cor. 14:34; Isa. 3:12)
2. Reverence their husbands: v. 33b (I Pet. 3:1-2, 6)
3. Love their husbands and their children (after the
fact): (Tit. 2:4)
4. Live with them till death: v. 31 (Rom. 7:2-3)
C. An Old Testament example of marriage with purpose:
(Boaz – “redeemer” and Ruth - “friend” – four chapters)
(See principle Eph. 6:8)
III. PRINCIPLES TO PERSONALLY APPLY:
(Together becoming “people of the Word” in practice)
A. These Christ-centered commands must be boldly
taught and then promptly obeyed, even though they run
contrary to our sinful nature and many of our “Christian
resources”. (Tit. 2:1-15) (See also Deut. 6:7-9; Gen. 3) (Joel 3:14)
B. Christ’s marital commands are impossibly burdensome
without being daily energized by an “indwelling source”.
(Eph. 5:18; 6:10; Jn. 15; I Jn. 5:2-3) “A broken pitcher can
always stay full under the fountain of grace.”
C. Since Christ’s peace is entirely independent of outward
circumstances and people, the lack of peace in your
family can never be blamed on your mate or children.
(See Eph. 6:12)
Sinners Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father, I was made by you and I was made for you, but
I have been living for myself. I am sorry for that self-rule you call sin.
I believe that Jesus Christ being my creator God, died, was buried,
and rose again to pay the insurmountable debt that my sin has
created since birth. So right now, I am turning from a life of going my
own way, to by faith, place my trust in Jesus Christ, to pay the debt of
all my sin, and to get me to heaven, when I breath my last breath.
Lord Jesus, from today on, I am yours. Thanks for saving me, this
very moment, in Jesus name, Amen.
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