conflict is inevitable… So forgiveness is essential.

The need for Justice… Makes forgiving others very difficult.

What they did was wrong!
It had negative consequences.
It did real damage.
It needs to be rectified or made right

Romans 12:19-21Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord…

Video - Some Kind Of Wonderful (0:24)

Romans 12:19-21… On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Forgiveness is the essential component of following Christ.

Cheek Slapping!!!
Matthew 5:39 Do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.

Video - Cheek Slapping (0:23)

Matthew 18:21-23 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive someone who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Luke 17:3-5 ‘If a brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.’ The apostles said to the Lord, ‘Increase our faith!’

Repentance is not just saying “I’m sorry”… It’s taking responsibility for my actions.

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

The Unmerciful Servant
Prodigal son (older Brother)

After an offense… The initial action is raw emotion!!

1 Acknowledgment of the Hurt

Recognizing the Injury: Before forgiveness can happen, there must be an acknowledgment of the hurt or harm caused. This involves facing the emotional pain or injustice inflicted by the other person, and understanding how it has impacted you.

Emotional Awareness: Identifying your feelings—anger, betrayal, sadness, etc.—is crucial. Forgiveness doesn’t mean suppressing these emotions, but rather, acknowledging them and deciding how to move forward.

2 Letting Go of Resentment (The toxic part)

Releasing Negative Emotions: Forgiveness involves a conscious decision to let go of lingering feelings of resentment, bitterness, or desire for revenge. This doesn’t mean forgetting the wrong or excusing it, but it’s about choosing not to hold onto the pain.

Emotional Detachment: It’s about detaching yourself from the emotional charge the situation holds over you. This can be challenging, but it’s necessary for healing.

Forgiveness does not negate the offense… it seeks to reconcile (to coexist) the offense. How do we move forward?

We have to get rid of the I will never… Never trust, never risk, never believe…

Holding onto an offense keeps us connected to it.
“drinking poison, hoping the other person will die”

It requires maturity and strength to be able to release the toxic portion of the offense.

It is not saying… It was OK, it wasn’t wrong, it’s saying this is not the final end for me… I can move forward.

3 Empathy and Understanding

Seeing the Situation from the Other’s Perspective: Empathy doesn’t mean agreeing with or condoning what the other person did, but understanding their perspective can help create a sense of compassion and reduce the emotional intensity of the situation.

Recognizing Human Imperfection: Understanding that everyone makes mistakes and has flaws can help shift your mindset from judgment to compassion.

In Luke 23:34 Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing…’ it sure appears that they knew what they were doing!!

Belief systems… Sometimes Christians do what they do not out of judgment or hate… But out of pure fear and terror that if they don’t stand where they are, they will go to hell. If I don’t say the right things, believe the right things, and do the right things I will be in danger of judgment.

4 The Decision to Forgive

Conscious Choice: Forgiveness is an active, intentional choice. It’s not something that necessarily happens automatically or instantly, but a deliberate decision to let go of the desire for retribution or for the wrongdoer to “pay.”

Freeing Yourself: By choosing to forgive, you release yourself from being bound to the hurt and resentment. This doesn’t mean excusing the other person’s behavior, but rather, choosing peace for your own well-being.

“I will not allow or empower you to have power over me.”

We forgive because we have been forgiven.
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

If I can forgive my child, I can forgive anyone…

5 Restoration or Reconciliation (Optional)

Mending the Relationship (if possible): In some cases, forgiveness may lead to the restoration of the relationship, but this is not always necessary or possible. many times, forgiveness can occur even without reconciliation.

Boundaries: In situations where reconciliation isn’t healthy (e.g., in cases of abuse or betrayal), forgiveness can still happen on a personal level, but boundaries are often necessary for self-protection.

Forgiveness is giving a person the option to be as healthy as they can be… Please slate.