Colossians (Part 17): Gospel-Centered Marriage

The purpose of marriage is to be a picture of the gospel. (Ephesians 5:22-33)

Consumer Relationships are based on the exchange of mutual benefits.
Covenant Relationships are built on mutual commitment to the other person, whether you are currently receiving benefits or not.

A consumer view of marriage gives us unrealistic expectations on our spouse because it puts the emphasis on them holding up their end of the deal.

Paul’s emphasis is for us to work on being the spouse God has called us to be, not for us to be enforcing our spouse being who God has called them to be.

Idolatry is putting expectations on someone to do what only God can do. (Jeremiah 2:27)

A loving marriage happens when both people choose to let the fantasy of the other person die, and instead choose to lay down our life for them. (Matt. 16:24-25)

In Christ, God “went through the pieces” to keep up not just His end of the covenant, but ours, too. If God can love us like that, He can help us to love our spouse in the same way.

Small Group Discussion Questions:

1. How do you think our cultural expectations of marriage differ from the Biblical view presented in Colossians 3:18-19 and Ephesians 5:22-33?
   Follow-up: What are some examples of these differences, and how can they affect a marriage?
   

   
   

2. What does it mean for marriage to be a picture of the gospel? How can this understanding change the way we approach our relationships with our spouses?
   Follow-up: In what ways have you seen this lived out, either in your own marriage or in others?
   

   
   

3. Paul describes marriage as a covenant relationship (based on commitment rather than benefits) rather than a consumer relationship (based on mutual benefits only). How does this distinction challenge or affirm your current views on marriage?
   Follow-up: How might shifting from a consumer mindset to a covenant mindset impact the way you relate to your spouse?
   

   
   

4. What are some common unrealistic expectations people have about marriage? How do these expectations affect the relationship between spouses?
   Follow-up: How can we address and adjust these expectations to align more with a Biblical perspective?
   

   
   

5. How do you handle disappointment or unmet expectations in your marriage? What role does your relationship with God play in those moments?
   Follow-up: How can a stronger covenant relationship with God help you navigate challenges in your marriage?
   

   
   

6. In what ways can unrealistic expectations about marriage become a form of idolatry? How can we guard against placing our spouses in a role only God should fulfill?**
   Follow-up: What steps can you take to ensure your expectations for your spouse are healthy and realistic?
   

   
   

7. How can we support and encourage each other in our small group to pursue healthy, covenantal marriages? What role does community play in strengthening our marriages?
   Follow-up: Are there specific ways we can pray for or walk alongside each other in our marriage journeys?