My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, ²⁰ remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins. —James 5:19-20

Sometimes destructive emotions disguise themselves as virtues.

• Fear of rejection

• Discomfort with conflict

• Apprehension around confrontation

• Indifference: a lack of concern where there should be concern

Love says, “I’m gonna do what I need to do for the sake of this other person, even though it doesn’t feel good to me right now.”

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” —Matthew 18:15

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” ² He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. ³ And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. —Matthew 18:1-3

• Things are going to come along that could cause you to stumble. (Matthew 18:6-7a)

• Don’t be the thing that causes someone to stumble. (Matthew 18:6, 7b)

• Get rid of whatever causes you to stumble. (Matthew 18:8-9)

Jesus involves us in the process of bringing wanderers back!

“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? ¹³ And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. ¹⁴ In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish. —Matthew 18:12-14

Love forbids us from minding our own business when someone else’s business needs a bit of minding.

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. ¹⁶ But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ ¹⁷ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. —Matthew 18:15-17

• Love steps up.

• Love speaks up.

Discipleship Guide

Let’s Talk About It
Sometimes, the people closest to us are the ones who see the mistakes we’re about to make—mistakes that could be avoided if they had only said something. Care doesn’t always feel caring. Love doesn’t always feel loving. So how do we speak up when there’s something worth saying? We refuse to allow fear, discomfort, apprehension, and indifference to be the boss because love forbids us from minding our own business when someone else’s business needs a bit of minding.

Proverbs 4:23; James 5:19-20; Matthew 18:1-17

Discussion questions:

• Which part of the message impacted or challenged you?

• Read James 5:19-20. Why do we tend to avoid difficult conversations? What are some things that hinder you from speaking up when something needs to be said?

• Read Matthew 18:6-9. Describe a time when loving someone you care about didn’t feel like love at all. What did you say? What did you do? How did it go?

• Read Matthew 18:15-17. Has someone ever taken a big risk by confronting you about something? If so, how did it go? Who have you given permission to speak into your life?

• Is there someone in your life who needs to hear from you right now? How could you prepare for this difficult conversation? Without naming names, how can this group support you?

Take a Step

• Consider how fear, discomfort, apprehension, and indifference may be holding you back from a conversation that needs to be had. What step can you take this week not to allow those emotions to be the boss of you?

Here’s My Prayer

Thank you, Jesus, that fear, discomfort, apprehension, and indifference don’t have to be the boss of me. Father, thank You for never giving up on me when I make mistakes and poor choices. Make my heart tender and teachable. Give me ears to hear correction from You and others. Supply me with the courage and strength to have difficult conversations when needed. In Jesus’ name, amen.