Last week we looked at the reasons why we need to forgive. This week we look at practical biblical tools for how to find freedom in forgiveness.

1. Has there ever been a time in your life where your resentment towards another person became so comfortable that it began to define the relationship, and you were a little scared to let it go? What are some other reasons why it can feel easier to just hang on to these feelings?

2. The first step towards forgiving someone is to make an appointment with God. Be intentional about it. Then start with confessing sin. Why is it important to start with repentance before God?

3. Deep down, none of us truly desire fairness or justice when we stand before our Holy God. We want mercy! Read the account of the crucifixion in Matthew 27:11-56. (Maybe take turns with each person reading a few verses). It’s humbling to think that Jesus went through all this for us while we were still sinners! Reflect on what Jesus has done for each of us and talk about how this passage affects you and your thoughts towards someone you’re struggling to forgive. Then read Romans 12:18.

4. It is difficult to accept the forgiveness Jesus offers and then forgive others if we asre not willing to forgive ourselves. Do you struggle with this? Why can it be so hard to forgive ourselves?

5. Another tool in the forgiveness process is to acknowledge the hurtful event and your feelings. Is it a sin to have feelings of anger and hatred? Why is it important to be real about our feelings? Discuss the difference between having feelings and acting out of those feelings.

6. When someone is unrepentant, the decision to forgive this person relies solely on you. Just like love, forgiveness is a choice. At some point we each need to decide to consciously forgive. However, two mistakes that people can make are either to rationalize the offender’s behavior and/or expect that the decision to forgive will change the offender’s behavior. What problems can this lead to?

7. Read Philemon 1:8-17. Forgiving someone who is repentant has different requirements than forgiving someone who is unrepentant. Paul’s request of Philemon is to forgive and restore Onesimus. Part of forgiving a repentant person who is seeking your love, grace, and forgiveness is allowing that person a chance to rebuild trust. Our end goal should be to restore them back to the same position they had in our life before the hurtful event took place. But let’s be honest, it can be difficult to open our life back up to someone, especially after trust has been broken. How can we encourage each other to do this on a practical level? What does a reasonable plan to restore them look like?