Sermon Title: The Goal of Forgiveness: Reconciliation
Scripture: Luke 17:1-4
The Forgiveness Formula:
- We all hurt people (but that doesn’t make it ok).
- Be careful to do that as little as possible
- When people hurt you, talk to them directly
- If they repent, forgive them
- Repeat as often as necessary.
The end goal for Jesus is reconciliation.
Jesus is all for our emotional health but emotional healing is just step one in the way of Jesus. Step two is about healing the relationship.
“Forgiveness is …my personal act to release the one who sinned against me from my personal right to collect on the moral debt; to pay them back for their offense. Instead of giving them back the pain they gave me, I absorb the pain into myself with God’s help and my community.” Dr. Gary Bershear
Jesus is after both for us; forgiveness and reconciliation. His goal isn’t to just help us move on from a wound; he’s also about creating a community that is characterized by forgiveness and reconciliation.
“In the Lord’s prayer, forgiveness is placed alongside the basic human necessity of daily nourishment. Just as daily food sustains our body, daily forgiveness maintains the unity of the community. For Jesus, it was imperative that his disciples understand that a relationship with God is closely tied to relationships with other people. We as believers must form communities of forgiveness if we are to become agents of communal forgiveness and reconciliation in a world of tribal, racial, religious and gender violence.” “Forgiving as We’ve Been Forgiven” - Jones and Musekura
4 steps to reconciliation.
1. Confession
2. Repentance
3. Restitution
4. Reconciliation
Confession is simply verbalizing what you did wrong.
Basic elements of an apology:
1. Be specific.
2. Focus on your part of the problem, not theirs.
3. Never use the word “but” in an apology.
4. Don’t make it about the other person’s feelings.
Repentance is the change of behavior that shows your apology is genuine and you meant what you said.
Restitution means you have to do everything you can to put back what you took from that person relationally, emotionally, physically, financially, etc.
Reconciliation. This is clearing up of the relational damage done by sin and this process is for both the offended and the offender. Both parties have to come out of a bad place.
Two mistakes we often make when we start this journey.
1. We skip to the end
2. We don’t own our part
Two practices to help you move forward.
1. Spend some time in listening prayer and ask the Spirit to show you if there’s anyone you’ve wronged with whom you need to reconcile with and seek forgiveness from.
2. If the spirit prompts you to go and be reconciled with someone, use these 4 steps to help you move forward in reconciling a broken relationship.
Additional Notes: