THE DIVINE DESIGN FOR HOME
COLOSSIANS 3:18-21
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Intro:
- In our text, Paul will deal with the home, husbands, wives, parents, and children. As with all things that God created, God has a divine design for the Home. Not all of that design is laid out here in these four verses, but if, as families, we would implement the truths of these four verses, we would be healthier and happier and glorify God.
1. The Divine Design For Wives (vs. 18)
- God’s design for wives is submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
Man and woman are equal. God has chosen the husband to be a leader and the wife to be a helper, not because one is superior or one is inferior. It is simply God’s decision.
Note two things about the command for wives to submit unto their husbands.
1) Wives are to submit unto their
- Paul is NOT saying that women should submit to men in general.
2) The submission is to be as is fit in the Lord.
- This phrase shows that the wife’s submission is not in the world’s order of things, but in the
Charles Swindoll:
The ultimate example of submitting to headship is Christ. Though equal in nature to the Father, sharing in the same divinity, power, glory, and authority, the Son submitted to the Father’s will to accomplish God’s plan of redemption, humbling Himself in obedience. (Phil. 2:5-8)
2. The Divine Design For The Husband (vs. 19)
Paul here gives two commands concerning the husband toward his wife.
1)
- Men, we are to love our wives like a Savior.
2) Be not bitter against them
- This simply means that a husband should not have a
- The phrase suggests that a husband should not be harsh, irritable, or cranky with his wife.
- How can a husband ensure that he will fulfill his design? Take off the clothes of the old man and put on the grace clothes of the new man.
3. The Divine Design For Children (vs. 20)
- Children are to obey in “all things” and not in just things that please them.
In fact, this may be one of the reasons God has ordered the husband-wife relationship the way He has so that children will have an example of what respect for authority is supposed to look like.
But you would think by looking at today’s society that the right translation of verse 20 is “Parents, obey your children for this will keep them happy and bring peace to the home.”
But this is contrary to the Word of God, and is not true.
The child who does not learn to obey his parents is not likely to grow up obeying any
- He will defy his teachers, the police, his employers, and anyone else who tries to exercise authority over him.
The break down in authority in our society reflects the breakdown of authority in the home.
Children must be taught obedience. This is why, for the most part, children do not create problems; they reveal them.
- Parents who cannot discipline themselves cannot discipline their children.
4. The Divine Design for Parents (vs.21)
- The design is for parents to provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
- The Greek word translated fathers (PATERES) can mean either “fathers” or “
- The word provoke refers to embitterment that comes from parents being overbearing or too strict.
- Parents should realize that nagging, continual faultfinding, excessive rules, and unreasonable exercise of authority will exasperate anyone, especially children. The result will be
Tips for not provoking your children:
- Speak calmly to your children.
- Take time to answer their questions and concerns.
- Allow them to disagree with you.
- Be patient when they make mistakes - we’re all born sinners, and imperfect.
- Don’t get upset over the trivial.
- Work around their schedule; you are not always #1, i.e. don’t be selfish.
- Be ready to receive them after a crisis.
- Look for the positive to affirm in them after they fail.
- Never, never, never, give up on them.
Instead of provoking our children with strict discipline, how does Eph. 6:4 say parents should raise their children? In the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
- The word nurture means “education” or “instruction.”
- The word admonition refers to advice, encouragement, and reproof.
Conclusion:
- In Jesus we have victory. Through Jesus we live in victory.
- Since this is true, i.e. Jesus changes us, then that change should show up and be applied in our most valuable earthly relationships, our family.