Black Widow - Message Study Questions

Message Summary

Every family is dysfunctional to some degree because everything humans touch is somewhat dysfunctional. Dysfunctional means something doesn’t work the way it was intended. Since we are all imperfect, we breed imperfect families. The goal isn’t to eradicate dysfunction, it’s to minimize it by working on being a healthy family. Whichever form of family dysfunction affects your home life, understand that you can overcome these issues. Learn what a healthy family looks like, connect with a support network, work on your own relationship skills—put Christ at the center of all your relationships. Love people like Jesus loves them. Forgive whoever you need to, be open to your own sin (dysfunction), but only take responsibility for yourself and the decisions you made. You cannot control another person—but you can control yourself.

1. Can you think of a good example of a healthy family? What do you like the most about that family?

2. Have you ever been in a relationship or situation where another was favored and you were not when you both should have been treated equally? How did it affect you? How do you overcome?

Consider This

If you live with a family member or multiple family members, everyone needs to understand that a healthy family incorporates love, respect, forgiveness, effective communication, and conflict resolving skills. Healthy families show grace and support to one another. Whether parents, teens, adult kids, little kids, brothers and sisters, that’s what healthy families do. And every family member plays a part in helping the family to be healthy.

1. Favoritism within families can be hard to avoid, but often has very negative consequences—especially in combination with other dysfunctions. Hannah persevered in faith and eventually prospered. And her son, Samuel, became a mighty man of God.

   • How would you describe Hannah’s problem in 1 Samuel 1:1-7?

   • What did Hannah pray in verses 10-11 and why do you think she made that prayer?

   • When the Lord answered Hannah’s prayer (1:20), how did she respond according to verses 1:24-28? How difficult do you think that decision was for Hannah?

   • How was Hannah rewarded for her sacrifice (2:19-21)?

2. The child, Samuel, was essentially adopted into Eli’s family—a classic distracted and emotionally distant dad.

   • How did Eli’s dysfunction play out in his family (see 1 Samuel 2:12)?

   • How did Eli fail (see 2:29-31 and 3:11-13)? Note that in those days, a father had complete authority and power over his sons, even into early adulthood.

   • Have you seen parents in a family system ignore and tolerate serious sin when they could have and should have stopped it? Eli and his family were devastated by this dysfunction (4:17-18). What are some consequences of this type of dysfunction today?

3. The Bible prescribes mutual submission with male leadership in marriage. But this leadership is not like that of the world, demanding and lording. Servant leadership means sacrificial serving and protection. Read Ephesians 5:21-6:4 and list something you’d like to work on in your family.

4. Read 1 Peter 3:1-7. Which of these concepts are hard for you to understand or put into action? Which are easier? What changes could you make to work toward a healthy family?

Moving Forward

Love God and love other people in word in action. Pray for them, and you will be amazed by what God can do to you and through you and for you, and for others.

1. Like Eli, are you somehow putting a family member or another person above God? What can you do to change that this week?

2. Is there someone that you need to forgive this week?

3. Is there someone you need to say you’re sorry to and ask for forgiveness this week? Will you do it?