
INTRODUCTION
Relationships are a constant part of all of our lives. Connection to other humans can be beautiful and fulfilling, but it can also be maddening and painful. The natural reaction to fractured relationships is to focus on what others should do to remedy the damage. This approach is the popular approach, yet it is frustrating and futile. There is a better way. It is simple, but not easy.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
You are in many different relationships. Name five relationship roles you are in (father, husband, son, employee, neighbor, etc.).
It seems to be human nature to depend upon the decisions of others for us to be happy or at peace. What do you see as your role in keeping the peace with those around you?If you want to write a New York Times bestseller write a book entitled, “How To Get People To See Things Your Way.” Many people would buy it and there would be little, if any, progress made in any relationships. How is that relationship building strategy working for you (question credit goes to Dr. Phil)?
The C4 approach to Relational Management implements the following methods: Convince, Convict, Coerce, or Control. Which of those are you most frequently tempted to utilize?
We all have “showroom” hopes of what we are building and then reality has a way of being less perfect and more work than we ever had expected. When things do not go as hoped we can sometimes keep trying the same methods without considering a different approach. How willing are you to consider listening to Jesus for new approaches to old challenges?
Starting with God may be one of the most obvious suggestions we have ever heard. There are many obvious things that most of us either struggle with or completely avoid- getting enough sleep, eating well, drinking water, etc.
What does it mean to you to “start with God” when it comes to relationships?
We are to have the “same mind set as Jesus Christ.” That leaves plenty of room for improvement for all of us. When you consider your own mind set regarding a strained or fractured relationship what is your mindset and what do you need do to move that mind set towards being more like that of Jesus (baby steps)?
The “normal” things we worry about are black holes that lead to despair and have absolutely no life to offer us. None. Jesus beautifully addressed these concerns in Matthew 6. He did not condemn us for having those worries, but He does invite us to seek Him first. We get to choose. What can you do to choose to seek Jesus first (easy part) and what can you do to keep refocussing on Him as the worries demand your attention?
When you consider the idea of “engaging with Jesus” what does that mean to you? (There is absolutely no wrong answer here)
Two weeks ago.Pastor Joseph reminded us to “find Jesus and follow Him.” When the worries flood us we need to make a decision to “find” Jesus. He never leaves us, but our awareness of Him wanes. Learning to stay focussed on Him gets easier as we do it more and more. How can we pray for you to grow in this vital area of your life?
MOVING FORWARD
The success of relationships rise or fall depending on our focus. If we focus on what we think others should do we will struggle. If we focus on Jesus and the work He leads us to do on ourselves then we can bring life to every life we touch. Bob Goff recently wrote, “Love difficult people. You are one of them.” That’s not the most fun quote ever, but it sure is true. Invite Jesus in to the places that need to change. The world deserves for us to be less difficult to those around us and leave their decisions up to them and Jesus.