Having expounded upon the love of Christ in Ephesians 1-3, Paul turns his attention in chapters 4-6 to the practical outworking of this love. In Ephesians 4, Paul states that the church exists for “the edifying of itself in love” (verse 16). Wow! How often do you think of the church as the “place” you go to learn how to love? In chapter five, Paul encourages us to “walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us” (verse 2). Then he applies the love of Christ to our relationships, beginning with the husband-wife relationship. What does love look like in action? That is the question Paul tackles in the second half of Ephesians.
Imitate God
Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love … —Ephesians 5:1-2
It is impossible to imagine any calling higher than to imitate God. Paul is here reaching back into the Genesis account of creation, in which God created humans “in His own image” (Genesis 1:27). But what does it look like to imitate God? Paul leaves no room for guessing: “Walk in love.” These are two ways of saying the same thing.
Imitating God means
But then Paul informs us that there are certain kinds of things we must intentionally decide not to do if we are to “walk in love.”
But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints … —Ephesians 5:3
Sin is not an arbitrary category of forbidden religious behaviors. Rather, sin is anything that violates the structural integrity of love and therefore causes harm. Sin is:
anti-
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God only forbids that which would hurt and destroy us.
Husbands and Wives
In Paul’s time, wives were the property of their husbands. Men in general ruled women as their inferiors. The Jewish man of Paul’s time was taught to pray, “I thank God that I am not a gentile, a slave, or a woman.” Aristotle stated, “The relation of male to female is by nature a relation of superior to inferior and ruler to ruled.” Paul set forth a revolutionary new picture of marriage.
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord … —Ephesians 5:22
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her … —Ephesians 5:25
The submission of wives to their husbands was a given in Paul’s time. It was simply assumed that men hold power over women. Paul changed the relational dynamic from one of power to love. In the light of God’s love, Paul informed men that they were to cease ruling over women and, rather, relate to them with the self-sacrificing love of Christ. Paul told men to treat women like men were accustomed to being treated by women: serve them.
Then Paul explained that marriages like this—marriages that reflect God’s love—are a window into the kind of relationship Jesus desires with His church, because His goal is to make us beautiful by the transforming power of His love (see 25-32).
The Application
All who come to Christ, both men and women, are called to the radical new relational dynamic of mutual submission.
Ephesians 5:21
… submitting to one another in the fear of God …
This means, of course, that exercising power over one another is contrary to the gospel of Christ.
Prayer
Father, I want to imitate You in my relationships. I want to love others like You love me. Please open me up, help me, and empower me to do this, because I can’t do it in my own strength.
Homework
Read Ephesians 6:10-17 each day of this week. Ponder the question: am I wearing “the whole armor of God” and what would that look like in real life?