“A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city…” —Proverbs 18:19
Unchecked offenses lead to bad decisions!
“On the seventh day of the feast, when King Xerxes was in high spirits because of the wine, he told the seven eunuchs who attended him—Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas— 11to bring Queen Vashti to him with the royal crown on her head. He wanted the nobles and all the other men to gaze on her beauty, for she was a very beautiful woman. 12But when they conveyed the king’s order to Queen Vashti, she refused to come. This made the king furious, and he burned with anger.” —Esther 1:10-12
The First Danger of Unchecked Offense -
ASK YOURSELF - Have I ever been offended by something that later on I realize that I shouldn’t have been offended or upset by?
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” —James 1:19, 20
“He immediately consulted with his wise advisers, who knew all the Persian laws and customs, for he always asked their advice…15“What must be done to Queen Vashti?” the king demanded. “What penalty does the law provide for a queen who refuses to obey the king’s orders, properly sent through his eunuchs?” —Esther 1:13, 15
The Second Danger of Unchecked Offense -
ASK YOURSELF - Instead of taking my feeling offended to God, do I take it to my friends, therefore I’m led by people instead of being led by the Holy Spirit?
“Memucan answered the king and his nobles, “Queen Vashti has wronged not only the king but also every noble and citizen throughout your empire. 17Women everywhere will begin to despise their husbands when they learn that Queen Vashti has refused to appear before the king. 18Before this day is out, the wives of all the king’s nobles throughout Persia and Media will hear what the queen did and will start treating their husbands the same way. There will be no end to their contempt and anger.” —Esther 1:16-18
The Third Danger of Unchecked Offense -
ASK YOURSELF - Do I sometimes allow offense to make a situation MUCH worse than it actually is? Do I turn an offense into a premeditated, calculated and intentional personal attack?
“So if it please the king, we suggest that you issue a written decree, a law of the Persians and Medes that cannot be revoked. It should order that Queen Vashti be forever banished from the presence of King Xerxes, and that the king should choose another queen more worthy than she…22He sent letters to all parts of the empire, to each province in its own script and language, proclaiming that every man should be the ruler of his own home and should say whatever he pleases.” —Esther 1:19, 22
Because of the kings uncontrolled anger..
1. The king loses a
2. The empire loses an
3. Women throughout the empire will
The Fourth Danger of Unchecked Offense - Making
ASK YOURSELF - Have I ever been so upset that I made a foolish decision out of anger that was hard to recover from?
Have you been led by
“It is impossible that no offenses should come…” —Luke 17:1
How should we handle offense?
A. Take it directly to
“We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. 4We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. 5We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.” —2 Corinthians 10:3-5
B.
“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. 44But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 45In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven.” —Matthew 5:43,44
a) Help me to see them how you see them.
b) Bless their marriage, bless their children, bless their home.
c) Help them to be successful in what they do.
C.
“Get rid of all bitterness rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” —Ephesians 4:31-32