HIGHLIGHTS AND INSIGHTS FROM THE MESSAGE
- When we feel mistreated, our natural response is to retaliate—doing unto others as they have done unto us rather than following the Golden Rule.
- David, in a moment of anger and worn-out self-control, was on the verge of bloodshed and revenge against Nabal until Abigail’s intervention.
- We have three responses modeled: Nabal returned evil for good (irrational), David almost returned evil for evil (predictable), and Abigail returned good for evil (remarkable).
CONVERSATION STARTER
- Share about a time when someone unexpectedly showed you kindness when you didn’t deserve it. How did that make you feel?
- Think about your natural response when someone mistreats you. What’s your first internal reaction, and how do you typically handle it?
EXPLORING THE SCRIPTURE
Main Scripture: 1 Samuel 25
Here is a brief summary of 1 Samuel.
Consider the three responses Pastor Anthony highlighted in this week’s sermon: Nabal returned evil for good (irrational), David planned to return evil for evil (predictable), and Abigail returned good for evil (remarkable). Spend some time examining each response a bit closer.
The Irrational Response: Evil For Good
David made a reasonable request from Nabal after David’s men had protected his sheep and interests (1 Samuel 25:16, 21). Nabal responded by not only rejecting David’s request, but also insulting him in the process (1 Samuel 25:10-11).
- Consider what was spoken of Nabal’s character (1 Samuel 25:3, 17, and 25). Despite the many earthly blessings he had been given (1 Samuel 25:2), Nabal was selfish, entitled, and unwise. How does he encompass the descriptions provided in James 3:16, 1 John 3:17, and Proverbs 18:2-7?
- How might Nabal’s outcome have been very different had he taken time to consider his response and act accordingly? Reference Proverbs 11:24-25.
- How can we avoid responding in a similar fashion and what are we called to do instead? Reference Philippians 2:3-4, Psalm 119:36, 1 Corinthians 10:24, and Galatians 6:10.
The Lord brought Nabal’s evil deeds back on his own head.
- How does this story illustrate what God tells us in Deuteronomy 32:35 and Romans 12:19?
- Sometimes a person will face earthly, visible consequences for their actions in life and sometimes they won’t. Ultimately, we will all face judgement in the end (Romans 14:10-12). What is our personal role to be when we are the one wronged by another?
The Predictable Response: Evil For Evil
Compare the greeting that David commanded his men give to Nabal from 1 Samuel 25:6 with David’s reaction to Nabal’s insult in 1 Samuel 25:13 and 22.
- What does this massive shift and overreaction show us about the spiritual and mental state of David at this particular point in time?
- Why do we tend to make foolhardy choices when we are in a similar state and how is it indicative that we aren’t walking with the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)?
- Pastor Anthony mentioned this week that “hurt people hurt people.” How have you seen this principle at work in your own life or in the lives of others?
- In 1 Peter 3:8-12, Peter quotes from Psalm 34, which David wrote after another difficult situation in his life. Compare these verses with David’s experience in 1 Samuel 25. What growth do you see in David’s understanding over time?
David’s initial, predictable response is innate within all of us.
- Considering what the Bible says in Proverbs 24:29, Proverbs 20:22, Romans 12:17, 1 Thessalonians 4:6, Leviticus 19:18. Why do you think God made it a point to repeat this sentiment over and over to us?
- Why is it so important that we always leave vengeance to the Lord, no matter the circumstance? Why is this so difficult for us at times?
The Remarkable Response: Good For Evil
Abigail’s discerning speech brought David back to a time when his trust was in the Lord and his decisions were based on his faith not his feelings (1 Samuel 25:29-30).
- What is the ultimate character trait that Abigail exuded throughout her conversation with David in 1 Samuel 25:23-24, 28, and 41? How did it make all the difference in what happened to her in the future and what can we learn from this?
- Abigail’s insightful words convinced David to come to his senses and make a much wiser decision. She saves him from doing something he would later deeply regret (1 Samuel 25:31-33). Have you had someone do this for you at some point? Have you ever experienced the providential and restraining grace of God in such a way?
- Read Romans 12:14-21. Paul instructs believers to “overcome evil with good.” How is this demonstrated in the story of Abigail? What specific actions did she take that perfectly exemplify this principle?
GROUP DISCUSSION
Consider your own pasts actions:
- Have you ever struggled with the desire to mistreat someone because of the way that they mistreated you?
- Have you ever inadvertently injured someone who didn’t deserve it in response to the way you had been treated by someone else?
- Have you ever gotten “even” with someone? Did it bring satisfaction in the end?
- How did each of these situations turn out and what did you learn from each of them?
What part of the story of David, Nabal, and Abigail resonated most with you personally?
- Why do you think that particular aspect stood out?
- Which of the three response types do you tend to react with most often?
David’s strong overreaction to Nabal’s rejection and insult was an emotional response.
- How can we subdue our emotions to avoid overreacting and instead issue a response that is godly and wise? Reference Galatians 5:16-25, James 1:19-22, and Proverbs 19:11.
Until you return good for evil, the person that has hurt you controls you.
- Have you experienced the freedom that comes from forgiveness and letting God handle things?
- Is there someone whose actions are still controlling your thoughts or emotions? What would one step toward freedom look like?
Your refusal to “get even” may be the only Christlikeness someone sees in their life.
- How does our repayment of evil with good demonstrate the love of Jesus to the world around us? Reference Matthew 5:16 and James 2:18.
- Have you ever been the recipient of a “remarkable” response from a brother or sister in Christ? How did that affect you?
Read Matthew 5:38-48 (equivalent passage in Luke 6:27-36). How does Jesus’ teaching here challenge the natural human response to mistreatment? How does this connect to Abigail’s actions in 1 Samuel 25?
- This week we learned that “we are called to live this story because this is the story of salvation—God returning good for evil, giving His Son for our sins.” How does the gospel exemplify the ultimate “return of good for evil?”
- How might remembering God’s mercy and grace toward us help in situations where we’re tempted to retaliate against someone who has hurt us?
LIVING IT OUT
This week, Pastor Anthony asked us, “What story do you want to tell?” Think about a current difficult relationship or situation in your life. What would it look like to write a remarkable story rather than a predictable one?
Abigail spoke to David’s potential rather than his current actions. How might you speak to someone’s potential this week rather than focusing on their failings?
Not giving others what they deserve is mercy. Giving them what they don’t deserve is grace. We are called to live this way because these things have been given freely to us. What would it look like to yield fully to God so that He can use you as a blessing even to those who hurt you?
PRAYER
Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. —1 Peter 3:9
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. —Romans 12:21
and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. —Matthew 6:12
Forgiveness can be difficult, especially when the hurt comes from someone we hold dear or someone from whom we expect more. But forgiveness is God’s way. Have you been hurt by someone? Ask God for the grace to forgive the person and to repay good for the evil done to you. Ask Him to enable you to overcome evil with good. God will be glorified by it!
Interested in praying with and for others. Learn more by reaching out to us through prayer@nwbible.org.