In the Crossfire: I Corinthians 7:1-16
I’ll take marriage, divorce and singlessness for … Alex.
Earlier in this letter Paul described the Corinthian Christians as “carnal.” That word means “of the flesh.” And Paul explained that their carnality caused them to be divisive (which we saw last week in their lawsuits), their carnality caused them to approve of sin that God did not approve of and now this week we will see that their carnality caused them to have very bizarre views of spirituality in marriage.
Here’s the thing about carnality which again means that we are directed by our own flesh. This may not look evil on the outside. Sometimes it looks good and this is the danger. It’s when I do, or think or speak from my own counsel and not the Lord. One of the major elements of the book of 1 Corinthians is learning to be in the Spirit. This can sound so mysterious and deep but really it’s all about leaning on God for His direction and heart.
I am in the Spirit when I invite God into every area of my life, listen to Him and obey.
1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment.
7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;
9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.
11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.
13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? —1 Corinthians 7:1-16
Giving Due Affection
Instead of the idea that a man should not touch a woman in marriage, Paul says that a husband must not withhold affection from his wife and vice versa.
Notice that he said- the affection DUE HER. He is not saying this is for some Christians but that it should be for all healthy marriages.
And BTW Paul is not saying what most think he is saying- as blunt without being crass as I can… He is not saying if your wife wants intimacy then you must or most likely if your husband is saying that then you must. This is NOT the message Paul is preaching.
He said- you must give her/him the affection they are due. This is so much more than physical intimacy. It is also emotional intimacy, care, protection, etc.
Husbands are to give proper affection due their wives and wives are to do the same and of course this includes physical intimacy but it doesn’t always.
Here’s what I mean- there probably won’t be much of a physical connection in marriage when there is not an emotional one. But there may not be a reconnection of an emotional relationship if the physical is withheld. It’s all connected.
Our marriages are inter-connected. We must give affection due to each other in marriage- body, soul and spirit. And no one has precedence over the other. We are not to weaponize our hurt by withholding affection.
Intimacy= I owe you NOT you owe me.
Satan’s strategy: when it comes to intimacy he wants to encourage it outside of marriage and discourage it inside marriage!
I’ll take Divorce for 200 Alex.
1 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.
2 And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.
3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”
4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’
5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”
8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” —Matthew 19:1-9
Two justifications for divorce- an unbeliever leaves you or there is adultery.
https://rightingamerica.net/wayne-grudem-on-divorce-the-right-conclusion-for-the-wrong-reason/
https://www.restoredrelationships.org/news/2016/01/11/domestic-abuse-divorce/
Paul ends this part of his message with some words of hope. How you do know if God won’t use you to bring your spouse to faith in Christ? What a good word. What a great reminder that God is NOT finished with our stories and with those around us. He loves us and is for us and for the people in our lives.
Most likely, there were many of the people in Corinth married to unbelievers. WHY? Because they were all 1st generation Christians- they had recently heard the gospel and some of them got saved. WHich meant that there were some who did not and most likely there were marriages split. Instead of discouraging them Paul brings hope. It’s hard, it’s confusing but perhaps God will use you to bring great healing and salvation.