Ephesians 5:21-33 - The Dreaded ‘S’ Word
“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”—1 Corinthians 11:3
God’s biblical ideal is for a husband to lead the way in submitting to God’s authority, and for his wife to follow as his most cherished friend, intimate ally, trusted advisor, and competent executive… NOT a dutiful slave.
“…submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” —Ephesians 5:21–33
When a godly husband says…
“I want our family to submit to God’s mission, methods, & morals.”
A godly wife says…
“I will lovingly and loyally submit to God’s authority with you.”
Not…
“I will assert myself as the authority in our family and home”
When a godly husband says…
“I want our family to understand and apply God’s Word (the Bible) to every area of life.”
A godly wife says…
“I will grow in my ability to advise you and structure our lives according to God’s Word.”
Not…
“Culture, academia, politicians, or my parents will be define truth and practice.”
When a godly husband says…
“I want to pour out my life for the good of our whole family.”
A godly wife says…
“I will join you in sacrificing myself for the good of our whole family.”
Not…
“It’s about time you started treating me like the queen that I am!”
The fight to dominate is a disastrous consequence of the fall which Jesus calls both spouses to abandon
“To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire (teshuqah) will be for your husband, and he will rule (mashal) over you.” —Genesis 3:16
“If you do well will I not accept you? But if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. And its desire (teshuqah) is for you, but you must rule (mashal) over it.” —Genesis 4:7
WHAT ARE COMMON WAYS WIVES UNDERMINE OR DISRESPECT THEIR HUSBANDS
- Not “leaving and cleaving” (Ephesians 5:31)
- Forfeiting financial peace/freedom for possessions and “experiences” (Proverbs 6:6-8, 21:20; Luke 12:15)
- Always wanting more - never content, never grateful (Proverbs 30:15; Philippians 4:11–12)
- Comparing him to other men / families (Exodus 20:17; James 3:16)
- Withholding or weaponizing sex (Proverbs 5:18–19; 1 Corinthians 7:2–5)
- Speaking negatively about him to parents, siblings, friends, or children (Psalm 101:5; Matthew 18:15; Ephesians 4:29,31)
WHAT IF I’M MARRIED TO A MAN WHO HAS NOT SUBMITTED TO CHRIST? Then you’re in an evangelistic marriage. (Dating COMMANDMENT: 2 Corinthians 6:14–15)
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” —1 Peter 3:1–2
How do I give to 1MSO?
The people of One Missoula Church give tangible resources back to God in order to suffocate greed in our own lives and amplify the impact of the Gospel in the lives of others. We’ve removed every barrier and inconvenience to make this sacrificial act as accessible and simple as possible. At present, here are the avenues for this act of devotion:
- Sunday Morning – offering boxes on the communion tables at the back
- Snail Mail – postage-paid envelopes available
- Text “1MSO” to 406-631-3323
- Online at https://onemissoulachurch.com/give
- Via the One Missoula App under the “Giving” tab
