Lesson Three: Uncommon Integrity
Don Snow was a soldier in the Vietnam War. Upon entering a village one night he heard breathing on the other side of a fence. He took a step. It took a step. He took a step. It took a step. He flipped his M2 carbine to automatic at the end of the fence. His heart beat wildly. His palms were sweating. There was a knot in his stomach. His mind was racing - how many Vietcong were on the other side of that fence? When he got to the end of the fence, he took a deep breath and with all his quickness jumped around the corner, carbine blazing. To his surprise he had just killed the biggest pig in Vietnam. The poor pig never knew what hit him. Didn’t even know there was a war and didn’t care – until it was too late.
Most men are like that pig; they don’t know there is a war going on and they don’t care. God’s Word says there is a war raging in the heavenlies, and here on earth. Whether we realize it or not, we live in a battle zone and there are casualties everywhere. Everywhere we look we see evidence of terrible destruction. In this lesson we will look at the topic of temptation and developing a plan for handling it when it comes.
Goals for the Lesson
• For each one of us to better understand how and where we are tempted
• To develop a plan for dealing with temptation when it comes
Warm Up Question
If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go and why?
Bible Study
In this passage we find Jesus at the beginning of his ministry in the desert fasting and being tempted by Satan. There is much to learn about how we can deal with temptation from the life of Jesus. When I first became a Christ follower someone older and much wiser said to me, “Master the Master’s Life.” There is no one better to imitate then Jesus. Read the following passage:
Matthew 4:1-11
Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. 2 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. 3 The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. 6 “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written:
“‘He will command his angels concerning you,
and they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’”
7 Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’” 8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9 “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” 10 Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and 11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.
Discussion Questions
1. What was the purpose of Satan tempting Jesus? What is his purpose for tempting us?
2. This temptation took place in a very real place. Where do you find yourself being tempted the most? How does this help you deal with it?
3. What did Satan tempt Jesus with? Does it help you to know what tools Satan could use against you?
4. How did Jesus handle the temptation? What does this look like for us?
Talk by Carlos Whittaker
Listen to the message by Carlos Whittaker that was given at the 2020 No Regrets Men’s conference. The talk is called: “Killing the Spiders” and it can be found on the No Regrets app, under Conference Media/ 2020 Platform talks.
Carlos Whittaker is a People’s Choice Award winner, a former recording artist signed to a major label, a social media maven, and currently spends the majority of his time writing books and speaking around the world. His current book, Kill the Spider, helps people identify, locate, corner, and kill the spiders that are plaguing their lives. He has spoken at the White House for the Easter Prayer breakfast and is regularly teaching at churches and conferences worldwide. He is married to Heather and they have three children.
Notes from Talk
Discussion Questions
- Carlos talked about how the easy seasons in our lives can open us to the danger that we start believing our own hype about ourselves. This makes us vulnerable to spiders – which are agreements that we have with lies. With a spider in residence, we have to contend with the spider’s cobweb which is our resulting behavior. Carlos was very open about the spider in his life and the cobweb of behavior. Do you recall those comments?
- To help us find our spiders, Carlos tells us to specifically ask God. And then pay close attention to his answer. What is going on in your life that distracts from your ability to hear him?
- In order to kill a spider we need to confess, reject and replace it. With what did Carlos replace his spider?
A therapist asked Carlos an important question: “Why do you keep rubbing crap on your blessings”? Give some thought to this question. Does it have any relevance in your own life?
Sharing and Prayer Time
To close your time today, walk through the Sexual Purity Covenant that is found at the end of the lesson and then have a couple of men pray for the group around this issue.
Wrap Up
As a group think back on the passages you looked at this morning and the develop a list of weapons a Christian can put in place to effectively deal with temptation. In 2 Corinthians 10:3-4 it says the weapons of a Christian are different then those of the world. What are they?
Assignment for Next Week
For next week you will be listening to a talk given by Jeff Manion at the 2020 No Regrets Men’s Conference. The talk was entitled: “The Land Between” and can be found on the No Regrets app, under Conference Media/ 2020 Platform speakers. There is a place for notes in Lesson Four.
Important - The app will not necessarily save your fill-in notes. Please click on “EMAIL” and email this devotional (with your notes) to yourself.
A Commitment to Sexual Purity
“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality,
or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” - Ephesians 5:3
Today, by the grace of God I commit my eyes, mind, heart and body to sexual purity. As a man of God living in a sex-saturated society, I understand that the battle is Real and that the evil one will do anything he can to sabotage us. To be pure means I will be radical in my actions and thoughts to stop any sexual gratification that comes to me from outside my marriage. I will guard my life by committing to the following:
• Building a strong healthy marriage where my wife is honored and cherished
• Being completely open, with a small group of men, regarding my private thoughts and struggles
• Putting in place guardrails to protect my eyes, mind and heart
• Walking daily in obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ and to allow Him to be Lord of my entire life
Signed
Date
Guidelines for Sexual Purity
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” - Proverbs 4:23
- Guard Your Eyes – Your eyes are connected to your heart. Heart adultery is connected to eye adultery. Work at training your eyes to immediately ‘bounce’ away from the ‘sexual’, like the jerk of your hand away from a hot stove. What are the most obvious and prolific sources of sensual images apart from your wife? Where do you look most often? Where are you the weakest?
“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.” Job 31:1 - Guard Your Minds – The mind is the line of scrimmage in the Christian life, and whoever controls the line of scrimmage wins the game. In times of war the first casualty is the truth. Protect yourself from thinking or fantasizing about other women. Remember, you cannot prevent wrong thoughts from coming to your mind, but what you do with that thought in the next microsecond will determine whether that thought will turn into sin. Begin to fill your mind with wholesome thoughts as you memorize scripture.
“Take every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Cor 10:5 - Exercise Extreme Caution with Other Women – It often starts innocently with a look, touch or word. It then can accelerate into an emotional relationship which builds momentum toward disaster and despair. If you are starting to develop an emotional connection to a woman in your life who prompts your mind to impure thoughts, then take a hike, Mike. You will need to establish clear boundries in all of your relationships.
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18 - Commit to a “Band of Brothers” – If men are going to help you in this area, we need to tell them of our struggles. Each of us needs men in our lives who love us enough to challenge us in the private areas of our thoughts. It also means we have to listen to what they are saying and take appropriate action. Some potential accountability questions:
- Are there any women filling your thoughts during the day other than your wife?
- Are you looking forward to being with any woman other than your wife?
- Have you been viewing any images that are impure?
- What situations are leading you into times of impure thoughts?
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
- A Strong Relationship with Your Father – Our relationship with our Heavenly Father is the strongest defense we have. Build into your life consistent times of prayer, Bible study, journaling, worship and solitude. May we fall more and more in love with Jesus as the days go on and, as a result, develop a healthy “fear of the Lord.”
Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37 - Honor and Cherish Your Wife – Intentionally work at developing your love relationship with your wife. Our wives thirst for an emotional, spiritual and sexual oneness that meets the craving in their soul to be connected, protected, cared for and cherished. Begin by taking your wife out weekly on a date. Work at touching her soul with your ears and share your soul with her. If you are sexually thirsty, quench it at home rather than with someone else’s wife.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25 - Know God’s Forgiveness in Your Life – There are times when we stumble. The good news is that God has provided a way for us to experience His grace and forgiveness in our lives. In 1 John 1:9, it says “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” When you stumble, confess it immediately and repent of it. Know that there is no sin too big for God to forgive, nor is there anything we can do to separate us from the love of God.