Principals from the life of Delilah
1. Chasing the promise of wealth can lure us down the path of
Judges 16:4-5 “Some time later Samson fell in love with a woman named Delilah, who lived in the valley of Sorek. 5 The rulers of the Philistines went to her and said, “Entice Samson to tell you what makes him so strong and how he can be overpowered and tied up securely. Then each of us will give you 1,100 pieces[b] of silver.” (NLT)
• Understand what was offered to Delilah. The Philistine “rulers” was in reference to the 5 city states of the Philistines. 5 Philistine rulers each giving her 1100 pieces of silver. This is 5500 pieces of silver equivalent to approximately 140 pounds!
• For perspective, Jesus was betrayed for only 30 pieces of silver.
• Why did the Philistines offer her so much money? She was more than likely a Philistine prostitute. Since Samson was killing her people and if she hated him anyway, why so much money?
• Is it possible she had genuine affection for Samson? Did the Philistine rulers have to persuade her with enough money so she would finally betray him? Did they make her an offer she couldn’t refuse?
• Whether or not she truly loved Samson we will never know. The bible does say that Samson loved Delilah. Some scholars call Delilah the OT Judas.
• The reality for Delilah is she is a single woman. Her only occupation is prostitution. She is being offered a way out of her lifestyle for the rest of her life. This takes her down the path of betrayal.
The word of God
I Tim. 6:9-10 “But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.” (NLT)
Money does not lead us down the path of betrayal. It is our
A. Wealth can cause us to betray our
• Whether the lure for wealth caused Delilah to betray her values we will never know. Did she have remorse? Was she bothered by what the Philistines did to him? After this event, she disappears from the pages of Scripture.
• When our desire for wealth becomes greater than our desire to live our internal values, we are on the path of betrayal.
o Our desire for more money can cause us to take the job that requires us to compromise our family
o The lure of a fast buck causes many to gamble their money away violating financial values
o Making a business decision that saved 10’s of thousands of dollars yet it wasn’t entirely ethical.
o You lie on your taxes so you can get a bigger refund
o You notice the teller gave you an extra $20 back and you keep it instead of going back into the store
• All these are violations of values simple from the lure of money; even an extra $20.
B. Wealth can cause us to betray our
• When we violate internal values there is always a relational ripple effect. This was certainly the case with Delilah. As soon as she agreed to the money, the relationship was over.
o For example: Think about professional sports. Athlete’s loyalties are to the highest bidder not to relationships.
o Isn’t the average person much the same? How many people rarely question the new job or position if it offers substantially more money?
o This causes people to uproot families / kids / leave jobs and co-workers in crisis.
o Did values make the decision or did money make the decision?
o Pastors can be guilty of the same thing. There is an opportunity to go to a bigger church and make more money. What about the people you just left?
• The promise of money should never be used as the
2. Guilt is a destructive tool for
Judges 16:15-16 “Then Delilah pouted, “How can you tell me, ‘I love you,’ when you don’t share your secrets with me? You’ve made fun of me three times now, and you still haven’t told me what makes you so strong!” 16 She tormented him with her nagging day after day until he was sick to death of it.” (NLT)
A. Attempting to control a person with guilt will
• Laying guilt trips on people is one of the most common yet destructive relational tools people use.
o Parents use it on their kids
o Kids use it on their parents
o Teachers use it to motivate students
o Spouses use it on each other in an attempt to alter the behavior of the other spouse.
o Some pastors even use it on their people to try to motivate different behavior
• Laying a guilt trip on a person is a form of manipulation that damages relationships. It destroyed Samson and Delilah’s. It is not a tool you want in your relational tool kit.
• I can’t begin to tell you how many people have tried to use this on me in an attempt to manipulate my behavior.
o “All good pastors do this…”
o “How can you call yourself a pastor when you do…”
o “If you don’t change this issue, I am leaving the church.”
o God told me you have to do this…”
• Manipulation is an unloving destructive response to our relational frustrations. Manipulation and guilt trips are always a manifestation of the
B.
• Lives are transformed in the relational environment of love and grace never guilt. This may be one of the reasons the greatest commands are to love.
• Love is our greatest relational tool.
I Cor. 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (NLT)
• It is love that gives us tremendous
• Relational principal to remember: “The one who loves the most has the most influence.”
• Give up attempts at trying to control people. This only pushes people away. Instead, love them.
3. Our lives can be used to bring the
Judges 16:18-19 “Delilah realized he had finally told her the truth, so she sent for the Philistine rulers. “Come back one more time,” she said, “for he has finally told me his secret.” So the Philistine rulers returned with the money in their hands. 19 Delilah lulled Samson to sleep with his head in her lap, and then she called in a man to shave off the seven locks of his hair. In this way she began to bring him down, and his strength left him.” (NLT)
Here we see the ultimate end of her betrayal. She could have been used to propel Samson to even greater things, instead she is involved in his downfall.
A. Our lives can hinder the
• I realize this is unintentional most of the time. Even our guilt trips are motivated because we feel like we know what is best for another person.
• The reality is if we are not careful, we can become a source of discouragement and negativity that can keep people from becoming who God is calling them to be.
• I personally have experienced this all my life – Examples
• I don’t ever want to be guilty of hindering someone from chasing after what God is doing in another’s life.
Matt. 18:6 “But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea.” (NLT)
• How many people are there who were called by God to do great things but the people around them hindered that success. Maybe the lack of love, lack of faith in them, lack of encouragement. Don’t be a Delilah!
B. Our lives can
Rom. 14:19 “So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.” (NLT)
Rom. 15:2 “We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord.” (NLT)
I Thess. 5:11 “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” (NLT)
• Notice the phrase in each passage; “
• How do we live to build each other up?
o B –
o U –
o I –
o L –
o D –
resolved. We cannot become builders
of one another without a resolve to
live this way.