1 – Teamwork makes the dream work

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. —Ecclesiastes 4:9 CSB

Left to ourselves, we will always slide back into wanting to do things on our own.

It is a commitment to be for each other because teamwork makes the dream work.

2 – It is All About the Attitude

The way you see your marriage, and the way you see your spouse, are largely dictated by your attitude.

We have to pay attention to the mentality we are bringing to the relationship.

Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. —Colossians 3:12–13 CSB

When friction arises, when we are tempted to forget what is true about one another, we must remind ourselves that we — and our spouse — have been chosen by God and are deeply loved by Him.

Without trusting that God loves us, and allowing that love to permeate our lives, we have no hope of being able to love one another well.

3 – We Choose What We Wear

Paul tells us to clothe ourselves — to put on — compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

We do not naturally put these on. We have to intentionally choose them and intentionally express them.

In verse 13 Paul introduces an incredibly important aspect of a successful marriage… forgiveness.

We forgive because we have been forgiven.

4 – Love is the Glue

Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. —Colossians 3:14 CSB

Here is the secret sauce… This is what binds this all together… This is what enables a marriage to navigate the highs and lows of life… love.

When we love selflessly — we are able to have compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience towards one another.

Seeking Peace

And let the peace of Christ, to which you were also called in one body, rule your hearts. And be thankful. —Colossians 3:15 CSB

Making peace and seeking peace are not the same.

The danger is that too often we allow our spouse to command more of our affection than the Lord — their spouse has become a greater affection than the Lord.

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, and even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. —Luke 14:26 CSB

We cannot place our spouse above Christ.

While this might pacify in the moment, it does not lead to the peace that surpasses all understanding.

Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Don’t let your heart be troubled or fearful. —John 14:27 CSB

This is the peace that Paul wants to rule in your heart.

Thankfulness

Gratitude is the key to the love and peace we are to clothe ourselves in.

Gratitude serves as a safeguard against the grumbling, complaining, bickering, nitpicking… that far too often dominates our conversations.

5 — In the Name of the Lord

Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you, in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them. —Colossians 3:16–19 CSB

The reason we are to pay close attention to how we speak and what we do in relationship to one another is because marriages are meant to be a picture of the kind of relationship between Jesus and the Church.

Wives and husbands are called to mutually submit to one another, and each spouse is called to serve one another and love one another the way Christ loves the Church.

6 – Fight the Friction

The truth is that there is an adversary who is bent on harming and destroying your marriage.

A thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance. —John 10:10 CSB

Couples must fight to keep friction from crippling their connection.

Jesus has come to give life and life to the full.