
Connect
Before we begin to discuss this tender subject regarding anger, let’s first begin by answering a lighter question: What’s one of the silliest or comical things you’ve ever gotten angry about?
View The After Party Video: https://youtu.be/0GqbCa8P9LI
Feel free to share this link with your Life Group to watch ahead of time or watch together as a group.
Engage
The Bible clearly states that it is not a sin to feel angry. In fact, anger is a natural and normal God-given emotional response that every single one of us experiences. God also feels and experiences anger, as we can see clearly throughout Scripture. His has a righteous and holy anger, but for us, the problem most usually lies not in our initial feelings of anger but rather in the ways we often deal with our anger that causes us to fall into sin.
As we consider the following verses, let’s aim to posture ourselves with a humble spirit, seeking to listen for the Lord to speak to us through His Word.
Read Matthew 5:21-22
Why do you think Jesus compares murder and anger with one another? What is the connection between those two seemingly different actions, and yet, both subject to the same severe judgement? (Hint: 1 John 3:15)
Read Matthew 5:23-26
What is your most natural response when someone angers you? What responses do we hear Jesus instructing us to act upon when it comes to dealing with our anger? (Look for the verbs!)
Read Ephesians 4:26-27
Though we often feel “empowered” when we’re angry, what truths do we see in these verses about what anger actually does to us? Who is really “in control” during those times of undealt/uncontrollable anger?
Apply
Let’s go a little deeper with each other: In what ways has anger played an impactful part of your own story? Consider both your past (family of origin/life experiences) and present (what anger looks like in your own life currently), giving everyone the chance to share (if they feel comfortable doing so) before moving further into how we can grow and change in the future.
Scotty shares three practical responses, taken from Jesus’ words for us all to learn from and lean into when it comes to dealing with anger in our own lives and in relation to others:
- Go to the person: Go directly to the person, in person.
- Go now: Do not wait but make reconciliation your top priority.
- Lead with kindness: Go humbly and in peace, offering radical kindness and love.
Out of these three actions, which one do you personally find the hardest to do?
During this time of confronting the anger within our own hearts and lives, is there someone in your life that you need to pursue reconciliation and peace with? Say their name out loud, pray for them, and then follow Jesus’ words in pursuing reconciliation and peace as soon as you can. And as a life group, make a commitment to praying for and encouraging one another as you hold each other accountable in this area.
Pray
Gracious Father, You know our heart and see our sin far more intimately than we even do. We confess our weaknesses to you and humbly ask for your help in this area of anger within us. May nothing cruel flow out of our mouths but rather fill us with grace as we remember Your abundant grace towards us, so that we might be people who build up those around us instead of tearing them down. Let all resentment and bitterness, wrath and anger, judgment and slander be put away far from us. May we people who pursue the things that You made possible for us - reconciliation and peace. We ask that You fill us afresh with Your Holy Spirit, with kindness, forgiveness, and love. We cannot do this without you! We love You and we look to You, in Jesus’ name, amen.
Bonus:
Ways to handle our anger on a daily basis:
Acknowledge Your Anger: When you find yourself in a place of anger, take a moment to stop to consider “Why am I so angry right now/why did I get angry in this situation?” Take a few minutes to process. Talk out loud or write down your thoughts, name your why. Sometimes when we slow down and name things, we start to see them with better perspective and more clearly.
Confess your anger: After you acknowledge and process your anger, confess it to God. Ask for forgiveness and strength to respond differently next time. And take it to the next level by confessing your anger to a trusted friend who can pray for you and with you as well as help keep you accountable as you move forward with the desire to grow.
Confront the anger that lies deep: Some of us have either been deeply wounded by experiences of wrongful anger in our lifetime or have been held captive by the vicious cycle of anger in our own lives. In order to grow and change, we may need to give this area some more time and space, with the desire to unearth and uproot some deep places and triggers within our own hearts and past, by seeking professional counseling or therapy. It’s okay to admit that we cannot do this alone and that we need help. In fact, that’s the best type of posture to welcome healing and to begin to change.