TD12: Discipline and Grace
Matthew 18:15-35
November 20, 2022
Jay Haugh
Jesus teaches us that greatness requires childlikeness.
When you’re wronged, go to the person in private.
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” —Matthew 18:15
What your eyes have seen do not hastily bring into court, for what will you do in the end, when your neighbor puts you to shame? Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another’s secret, lest he who hears you bring shame upon you, and your ill repute have no end. —Proverbs 25:7-10
You go to that individual face-to-face.
When you are wronged, go right to the source.
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” —Matthew 18:15
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. —Galatians 6:1
Don’t hurt the individual, but help fix him.
We are so conflict averse.
“But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” —Matthew 18:16-17
We’re called to uphold God’s standard.
“Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” —Matthew 18:18
The reason we practice this is because the Church is meant to be a reflection of heaven.
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” —Matthew 18:21
We continually forgive because God infinitely forgives.
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” —Matthew 18:22
“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.” —Matthew 18:23
It’s a parable about God and us.
“When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.” —Matthew 18:24
It’s a debt that’s absolutely unpayable.
“And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.” —Matthew 18:25-27
He absolved the slave from 60 million denarii.
God has forgiven an infinite debt for those who approach and ask Him.
“But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’” —Matthew 18:28
It’s a debt that is payable.
“So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’” —Matthew 18:29
He should be wanting and willing to forgive.
“He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” —Matthew 18:30-35
Big Idea:
The people of God exercise church discipline, while also extending mercy and grace.
SMALL GROUP STUDY QUESTIONS:
Memory Verse: 1 Timothy 4:7-8
Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.
Read Matthew 18:15-20
What steps did Jesus lay out for helping believers grow and overcome their sin? Can these same principles be applied when confronting a non-believer? If not, what should our posture be towards unbelievers who are living an unrepentant lifestyle? See Colossians 4:2-6 & 1 Corinthians 5:9-13.
If the Bible were written today, do you think Jesus would say, “If your brother sins against you, go text, Facebook, email, or phone him?” What are the advantages and disadvantages of these methods of communication? Do you agree that in-person conversation is best when having a conversation about sin?
What are some reasons why Christians are afraid to go and tell other Christians how they have sinned against them? Which one of these reasons applies to you? New Covenant has a cultural value of Courage. How can you have courage and overcome your fear in this area?
When we read this passage the tendency is to read ourselves into the passage as the one confronting someone else about their sin…because I don’t sin… If someone confronts you about your sin, how do you respond? What are some of the motivations and reasons why you or any particular person would not repent when confronted with sin or wrongdoing?
What is the goal of reaching out to a person who has committed a sin or is living in unrepentant sin? How does including others in the process help bring about restoration? What should be our posture as we engage in these conversations?
Read Matthew 18:21-35
How many times are we supposed to forgive others? Should we take Jesus’ response literally (forgive someone 77 times) or metaphorically (forgive abundantly)? How does the parable help answer this question?
Jesus tells a parable in response to Peter’s question. Who are the main characters in the parable and who do they represent? What are the debts that are owed and how does this relate to sin? Where do you see yourself in this parable?
What three things does the master initially do for the servant (v. 27)? Why is each act significant?
Do you ever struggle to extend mercy/grace to someone who has wronged you? Is there anyone with whom you do not want to share the gospel? What makes you feel this way? What step can you take today to help you change your perspective toward them?
What is the difference between providing forgiveness via lipservice versus “forgive your brother from your heart”? What happens if we do not forgive others? See also Matthew 6:14-15.