
Handling Conflict
Main Point: Sometimes we think the best way to handle conflict is to avoid it, but the Bible offers us a better approach.
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. —Matthew 5:21-22
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” —Matthew 5:23-24
We should handle conflict quickly.
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. —Matthew 18:15-17
We should handle conflict personally.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. —James 1:19-20
We should handle conflict carefully.
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. —Ephesians 4:3
We should handle conflict peacefully.
Takeaway: Don’t ignore the conflict in your life - but make sure that you deal with it in a way that will ultimately lead you both to a better place.
Discussion Questions
1. How was conflict handled in your family growing up? How has that shaped how you handle conflict now?
2. Why is it critical that conflict is handled quickly?
3. What are some intentional ways that you could make sure you are handling conflict personally?
4. Would the people closest to you say that you are “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry?”
5. When you are involved in a conflict do you view it as an interaction to be won or lost? Or do you view it as a chance to ultimately lead you both to a better place?
Table Discussion Question: Based on this message and the scriptures that we looked at - are there any conflicts in your life that you are not handling well right now?