*Text: 1 Cor. 13:1-13 *
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
*13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.*
Q. Why is love “the greatest of these” virtues?
Q. What is love?
An intense feeling of deep affection (a friend, a child, a spouse)
A great interest and pleasure in something (football)
To like or enjoy very much (coffee)
Dictionaries have many definitions of love because it’s hard to define…
koine Greek (the language of the New Testament) used four different words to describe various aspects of love:
Phileo = friendship
Storge = affection
Eros = erotic love
Agape = charity (love in action)
1. Phileo / friendship
We have many acquaintances – people we see from time to time
Some of these acquaintances become companions – people we spend some time with (focused on an event ~ fishing, painting, walking, surfing, etc.)
A few of these companions become friends – people we spend time with (focused on what we have in common).
But even amongst our few friends, some are closer than others:
Jesus had many acquaintances; 70 companions; 12 friends; 3 close friends; 1 intimate friend, John, the disciple whom Jesus loved)
One of the closest friendships recorded in the Bible was between David (18) and Jonathan (30) (1 Sam. 18:1-4; 2 Sam. 1:25-26)
Some observations
We all have a need for friendship
Married people need good friends of their own gender
There is great comfort, safety and healing in having a good friend…
Quote. George Elliot (Mary Ann Evans): “Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort, of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away”.
Q. How can I make friends?
Proverbs 18:24, “One who has friends must themselves be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”
Quote: Dale Carnegie, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
Quote: Ed Cunningham (Former US NFL player), “Friends are those rare people who ask how we are, and then wait to hear the answer.”
Jesus was, “a friend of tax collectors and sinners” (Matt. 11:19)
2. Storge / Affection
Definition:
“A gentle feeling of fondness or liking.”
“Love that is physical without being sexual.”
Quote: C S Lewis in “The four loves” (P.33): “The image we must start with is that of a mother nursing a baby, a dog or cat with a basketful of puppies or kittens; all in a squeaking, nuzzling heap together; purring, licking, baby-talk, milk, warmth, the smell of young life.”
Romans 12:10, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves.”
Storge is also defined in the Bible by its opposite (astorgos) where the unrighteous are described…
Romans 1:31, “they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy.”
2 Tim. 3:3, “without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good.” (astorgos, no storge).
The unrighteous are hard-hearted towards family rather than kind, affectionate, tender, and loving.
We all have a need for affection, but in order to receive we also must give. As this occurs it brings wholeness into our lives. If this doesn’t occur, the opposite is true.
Touch is a basic human need.
Bayside Church is an affectionate church (and for some it is their only physical contact)
Affection can be abused:
• It can become inappropriate
• It can become smothering
Discussion Questions
How would you define love?
If you’re comfortable to do so, share a time with your connect group when you felt loved.
What is the difference between acquaintances, companions, and friends?
Amongst Jesus friends, some were closer to him than others. Does this truth bring you freedom?
Read the story of David and Jonathan (1 Sam. 18:1-4; 2 Sam. 1:25-26). What stands out to you from their friendship? Do you have, or have you ever had, a friend that close?
Jesus was “a friend of tax collectors and sinners” (Matthew 11:19). How can you be like Jesus?
How can you put Romans 12:10 into action in your connect group / life / church / family / community?
Read and discuss 1 Timothy 5:1-2 & Titus 2:1-6. What do these verses say about the importance of the ministry of older men (fathers) to the younger (sons) and older women (mothers) to the younger (daughters)?
Bayside Church is deliberately intergenerational so that these kinds of relationships ~ between older and younger members ~ can happen naturally. How have you been part of this? How could you exercise this kind of ministry?
Extra study: Read “The four loves” by C.S. Lewis