Day 16 – A Jewish Wedding

Read: John 14: 1 – 4; I Thessalonians 4: 13 - 18

It was a night of destiny. It is the evening meal on the night Jesus was betrayed. The disciples and Jesus are together in the upper room. In a few hours Jesus would allow himself to be captured and begin a time of torture and shame. The disciples are very troubled. For weeks Jesus has been alarming them with talk of his impending death, resurrection, and ascension. Jesus attempts to calm their fears by saying what we read in John 14: 1 – 4.

We do not understand the full meaning of this because we do not know Jewish traditions. Jesus was drawing an analogy to the way Jewish weddings were conducted in that day. In order to fully understand why this passage would be a comfort to the disciples, we must understand the Jewish wedding customs prevalent in this time.
1. The first step in a Jewish wedding was to establish the marriage covenant. The prospective groom would leave his home and go to the prospective bride’s home. There he would meet with her father to negotiate two matters. First, he would ask for her hand in marriage. If the answer was yes, he would then negotiate the purchase price of the bride. You see, every Jewish boy had to purchase his bride from her father and family. I Cor. 6: 19 – 20. When the agreed upon price was paid, the marriage covenant was established. Jeremiah 31:31 – 34.
2. To symbolize the established covenant, the new couple took a cup of wine and they both drank from it. I Cor. 11:25. They were now considered married and referred to as “espoused”.
3. The new couple did not live together yet. The groom went back to his father’s home and they lived apart for approximately one year.
4. The groom spent the year preparing an apartment in his father’s house. A place for he and his new bride to dwell together.
5. After this time of separation, the groom would call together his best man and other male escorts to prepare to go get his bride. The bride never knew when this night was to be. She had to be ready whenever her bridegroom chose to come and get her.
6. At some point the groom and his male escorts would begin a torch-lit processional through the streets of the town to the home of the bride. Bystanders and townspeople would recognize this for what it was – i.e., a groom and his male wedding party coming to claim his bride – and would join in to swell the ranks. Soon others would see this and a shout would go forth “Behold the bridegroom comes”. This shouting of “Behold the bridegroom comes” would increase as the procession approached the bride’s home. This would serve as a warning to the bride that she better get ready because the bridegroom was coming to claim her.
7. The bride needed to hurry to get ready because the groom and processional would usually arrive before she had time to finish her preparations. The groom would wait outside in the streets. He would never enter the house. He would wait outside for his bride to come out to join him.
8. The groom, the bride, and wedding party would then return to the father’s house in a torch-lit parade through the streets of the town.
9. Wedding guests would already be assembled in a large room in the father’s house which would serve as the banquet hall. The bride and groom along with the wedding party would greet all these wedding guests.
10. The bride and groom along with the wedding party would then go to another room in the house designated as the bridal chamber. This was called the “hoopa”. The bride and groom would enter this room alone and there consummate the marriage. The groom would come out of this room and announce to the wedding party that the marriage had indeed been consummated.
11. The wedding party would then carry this great news back to the banquet hall and the other guests. This news was met with excitement and commenced a period of great celebration for the next seven days. This may seem odd to us and perhaps even awkward but in Jewish culture this was cause for much celebration. A couple had committed themselves to each other and to God.
12. Another strange but very important part of the tradition was that during this seven-day period of feasting and celebration, the groom would keep his bride hidden. She stayed in the bridal chamber and it was called the “days of hiding” or “days of the bridal chamber.”
13. At the end of the seven days, the groom would bring his bride out with her veil removed and show her to the assembled wedding guests.