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Message Notes:

Why do we constantly argue?
The core of constant arguing is broken expectations.

Main Idea:

The source of your constant arguing in your marriage is an unmet expectation.

Broken expectations untreated become how you view your spouse.

If you are feeling this way there are a couple of things we should know:

Mess is always an opportunity for growth.

Intimacy is always messy.

God’s model for navigating expectations in marriage is mutual submission.

Ephesians 5:21-28
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word. (NIV)

Mutual submission softens my position towards my spouse.

Mutual submission helps us to decide which expectations are worth fighting for.

How do we take steps to adjust the culture of constant arguing in the home?

It must be with God.

Ephesians 5:19
“but be filled with the Spirit” (NASB)

This is the prayer of someone who really wants to break the habit of constantly arguing:

Show me what expectations I have that are breaking right now

Show me what my role is in this broken expectation

Ephesians 4:31-32
31 All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (NASB)

Show me how to address those expectations to my spouse:

Tell the story.

Proverbs 18:2
Fools find no pleasure in understanding, but delight in airing their own opinions. (NIV)

Show me how to break the habit of arguing unfairly:

Pray before you talk.

No yelling. No assumptions. No insults. No D word. No physical fighting.

Disagreeing is ok!

The goal is not to win an argument but to figure out a way to help each other’s needs and expectations to get met.

If you prayed the prayer to start fresh with God today text “startagain” (one word) to 97000 so we can connect with you and help you take the next steps in this amazing decision.

My Notes:

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