
Text: Philippians 4:2-9
Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!
2 I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. 3 Yes, and I ask you, my true companion…
…help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life.
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
On Disagreement:
• It is a normal part of life – even church life
• We need to deal with it well so that we can find peace – that is what Paul is teaching here…
How can we deal with disagreement?
1. Rejoice
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Rejoice – to be cheerful or calmly happy
When you’re having a disagreement with someone you don’t feel like rejoicing, being cheerful or calmly happy. But you will feel better if you do.
2. Be Gentle
5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Let others see your gentleness because Jesus certainly does!
Gentleness = to be restrained, appropriate & patient
When we are in conflict with someone these qualities go out the window. Disagreement is invariably and impatient & punitive.
Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
3. Don’t Worry
6 Do not be anxious about anything
Disagreement inevitably leads to anxiety that plays havoc with your head…
We all need to train ourselves to another default…
4. Be Prayerful
6 In everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
I.e. make prayer your default mechanism in all areas of life…
You cannot worry and pray at the same time!
In everything, by…
Heartfelt prayer
Petition = to appeal and plead
Thanksgiving = to use grateful language
…Present your requests to God.
7 The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Peace = “to set at one again.” Peace of mind. Wholeness.
This peace is one of the things that you cannot work out with your head (above the intellect). It doesn’t make any sense that, in the midst of conflict, you would know the peace of God guarding thoughts and feelings.
5. Focus Your Thoughts
8 Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.
Your thoughts will naturally gravitate towards the disagreement. You will go over and over the same ground and nothing will change except you will feel worse and worse. So, we are taught to train our minds, filter out negatives, and focus on what is:
Noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy, & true ~ attested because it’s tested!
6. Imitate Godly People
9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me — put it into practice.
We teach more by what we do than what we say!
Observe how godly people respond to and deal with disagreement. Imitate them. Whatever you have learned, received, heard or seen, “put it into practice” – i.e. perform it repeatedly and habitually until it becomes part of who you are.
Put these things into practice… “And the God of peace will be with you.” (i.e. be a doer of the Word)
Discussion Questions
- Share a time when you had a disagreement with someone and how you resolved it.
- Are there any unresolved disputes that need to be settled? Is there anything you can do to bring resolution?
- Not all conflict can be resolved. Read and discuss Romans 12:18.
- Some disagreements need the help of others to settle. Read and discuss Philippians 4:3 and Matthew 18:15-16.
- Have you ever acted with gentleness when in a disagreement? What was the result? (See Phil. 4:5; Proverbs 15:1)
- Share a time when you’ve been prayerful instead of anxious. What was the outcome? How can you train yourself to make prayer your default mechanism?
- Paul teaches us to pray with thanksgiving. Have your ever prayed with complaining and grumbling? What was the result?
- Discuss this statement: “We teach more by what we do than what we say!”