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Message Notes:
THE LIE SATAN TELLS:
Self-worth equals performance plus what other people think about us.
GOAL FOR THIS SERIES:
To find value and worth in Christ, not performance, perfection, success, or approval of others.
Ask yourself if you can relate to any of these shame tendencies:
- We excuse our failures with an attitude of hopelessness. Too often our personalities will become glued to our failures and the shame we try to avoid becomes our identity.
- Shame keeps us from participating in things you know you should. Shame statements like: “I know I should…but I don’t feel I can” “Only people who have it figured out can do that…not me”
- We find that if we expect little of ourselves, we will seldom be disappointed
- Shame usually results in guilt and self-deprecation. It creates such a negative view of ourselves that we cannot see ourselves the way God sees us.
- Shame leads to isolation because we feel like if anyone really knew us they wouldn’t like us OR We try to stay busy and keep our relationships shallow so that nobody can see our heart and our shame. Anything to take our mind off it.
- Shame likes to make us view ourselves as victims. To handle the weight of the shame, we tend to victimize ourselves and make it other people’s fault. It is how we cope from having to handle the weight of owning our own choices.
- Sometimes our shame from our mistakes causes us to develop a codependent relationship with someone else. And often the person that we are in a codependent relationship with will use our shame to continue to keep us there.
- When we deal with shame long enough, it becomes a way of thinking and we become so preoccupied with our inferiority that we put that on everything else that we experience.
The Fourth lie:
Shame says I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless.
DEF: Shame = a deep feeling of inferiority from prolonged patterns of failure OR can even be caused by just one or two mistakes that we can’t get past.
Prov 14:12 - There is a way which seems right to a person, but its end is the way of death. NASB
WHAT DOES GOD SAY?
Main Idea:
Shame says I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless.
Because of regeneration you’ve been made brand new in Christ, and you no longer have to experience the pain of shame.
Regeneration = To be made new. God brings a person to new life (born again) from a previous state of separation from God to being made new in Him.
Titus 3:3-8 - 3 For we too were once foolish, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another. 4 But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, 5 He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we did in righteousness, but in accordance with His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, 6 whom He richly poured out upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs [a]according to the hope of eternal life. 8 This statement is trustworthy; and concerning these things I want you to speak confidently, so that those who have believed God will be careful to engage in good deeds. These things are good and beneficial for people. NLT
HIS LOVE HELPS US GROW PAST OUR SHAME AND WANT TO CHANGE
Col 2:8-14 - Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers[a] of this world, rather than from Christ. 9 For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. 10b So you also are complete through your union with Christ…V. 12 For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead. 13 You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. 14 He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. NLT
Eph 4:21-24 - 21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. NLT
TAKE AWAY:
Overcoming shame is a commitment to applying God’s truth to your situation.
No matter how long it takes, you continue to press into HIS way of thinking and living.
HE SAYS:
- You have been made new in Him.
- You no longer have to experience the pain of shame.
- You hsve everything you need to overcome.
- Look to him, it won’t always be like this
- Don’t stop…keep pursuing him…you are more than this.
QUESTION:
Is there anything you feel that way about?
Is there a flaw or a sin you can’t seem to let go?
THE LIE SATAN TELLS:
Self-worth equals performance plus what other people think about us.
FOUR FALSE BELIEFS:
- The performance trap. I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself.
a. ANSWER: Because of justification. You are completely forgiven and fully pleasing to God. You no longer have to fear failure - Approval addict. I must be approved by others to feel good about myself.
a. ANSWER: Because of reconciliation you are totally excepted by God and you know longer have to fear rejection - The blame game. Those who fail are unworthy of love and deserved to be punished.
a. ANSWER: Because of propitiation you are deeply loved by God and you no longer have to fear punishment nor do you have to punish others - Shame. I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless.
a. ANSWER: Because of regeneration you’ve been made brand new in Christ and you no longer have to experience the pain of shame.
CHALLENGE:
Promise yourself you will fight Satan’s lie that says self-worth equals performance plus what other people think about you:
- Identify, 2. Confess, 3. Reject, 4. Replace
If you prayed the prayer to start fresh with God today text “startagain” (one word) to 97000 so we can connect with you and help you take the next steps in this amazing decision.
My Notes:
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