There’s a definition that has been going around for just about forever that says “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result”.

We want to change but aren’t willing to make changes.

Definition of a Toxic Relationship

  1. A relationship in which there is a repetitive, mutually destructive, unhealthy pattern that causes more harm than good for both the individuals.
  2. A relationship that leads people away from Jesus and the life that He has called them to live.

It doesn’t reflect God, it doesn’t glorify Him. Why would God want you to be a part of that?

Cycle of a Toxic Relationship**

  1. Honeymoon - everything is fine
  2. Building Tension - mounting internal conflict with no appropriate way to deal with it.
  3. Explosion - resulting in physical, mental and emotional abuse
  4. Remorse - This is full of love-bombing

How do we break this cycle?

1. Find your identity in Jesus

Matthew 6:33

Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all of these things will be added to you. —https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%206%3A33&version=NIV

Colossians 3:12-13

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. —https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Colossians+3%3A12-13&version=NIV

We are to make allowances for each others faults and forgive anyone who offends you.

2. Extend Forgiveness

We are to forgive always, you are to love everyone, absolutely… from a distance.

3. Love from a distance.

We need to separate ourselves from the toxic cycle and the toxic relationship. Even Jesus either walked away from people or allowed them to walk away from Him.

There are sometimes you need to walk away.

Forgiveness + Repentance = Reconciliation

So we are to Find Our Identity in Jesus, Extend Forgiveness, and Love at a Distance but

4. Wait for repentance

Repentance means to turn away - change direction, change your thinking about your actions and it results in a change of action. It is directed and led by the Holy Spirit.

So we are to always extend the hand of forgiveness, but unless someone receives it by repenting we have to love at a distance. And this is a process and it will take time.

Time to get started!