HUSBANDS & WIVES // Ephesians 5:21-33 // Jeff Davenport

Why will this be a challenging talk?

Because it is COUNTER-CULTURAL
It requires HUMILITY on both parties (no pride!)
It seems like it’s AGAINST FREEDOM

3 Things To Keep In Mind

1. God Made Everything
2. Lordship
3. Trust

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. —Ephesians 5:21-33

The Equality of Men and Women

For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise. —Galatians 3:26-29

Order
What does the word “order” mean?

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. —1 Corinthians 11:3

A Living Metaphor

People should be able to look at my marriage and say, “Ifn that’s what life with Jesus is like COUNT ME IN”

“The expressed Biblical purpose for a Christian marriage is the demonstration of the relationship between Christ and the Church. In a dying world, God has deposited the symbol of His presence and union with mankind in the form of the relationship between the husband and the wife.” —Sam Soleyn

Wives

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything… 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. —Ephesians 5:21-24, 33

Hyptasso
This word was a Greek military term meaning “to arrange troop divisions in a military fashion under the command of a leader.” In non-military use, it was “a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden.”

What this doesn’t mean:

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. —Proverbs 31:11

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. —Proverbs 31:25

What this does mean

A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm —Proverbs 27:15

Better to live on a corner of a roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife —Proverbs 21:9
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. —Proverbs 21:19

Husbands

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. —Ephesians 5:25-32

Husbands are commanded to think of their role in terms of a metaphor and a methaphor within that metaphor

Metaphor 1: like Christ loves the Church
Metaphor 2: how a man takes care of his own body

Husbands must look out for THE COMMON GOOD

The Ditches we can land in

How is Jesus towards you, husband?

How is Jesus NOT towards you?

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. —Psalm 128:3

Let him lead me to the banquet hall, and let his banner over me be love. —Song of Solomon 2:4

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart; —Isaiah 40:11

Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. —1 Peter 5:2-4

Where do we turn to with our questions?