Parents in the Crosshairs

1 Thessalonians 5:11 - Establishing Emotional Safety
* Intimacy and

are linked - the more safe you feel with someone the more connected your relationship can be.
* Intimacy = fully

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and fully

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* Relationships break apart when emotional safety is not experienced.
* If you don’t feel safe to open up to someone,

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is the result.
* If you got made fun of, or criticized, etc.
* EX: Google Study on “psychological safety.”
* Paul deals with this in his letter to the church in Thessalonica.
* Vs 11 - “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
* Encourage in Hebrew is “Parakaleo” - to come alongside; to give God’s comfort.
* We don’t just encourage (come alongside offering God’s help), you “build up!”
* Build up in Hebrew is “Oikodomeo” -

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* To edify is to improve someone (morally, intellectually, emotionally).
* Summary - we need to do two things if we want relational connection:
*

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- come alongside with the heart of God (loving, gentle, etc).
*

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- improve their thinking, feeling, and behaving.
* Best way to do that - offer them a non-judgmental listening ear!
* Skip Moen:
* Build up – “Generally, relationships build by a process of reciprocal self-revelations. One individual takes the leap and reveals some intimate material; thereby placing himself or herself at risk; the other closes the gap by reciprocating in kind; together, they deepen the relationship via a spiral of self-revelation. If the person at risk is left hanging without the other reciprocating, then the friendship often flounders.”
* What’s certainly not involved is criticism, rejection, and derision. Psychological and spiritual wounds are particularly disintegrating. Another’s words or actions can turn the wound into a life-long necrosis. 
* If you had to open that most grievous wound, the one you’ve been carrying for a long time, the one you’re afraid to even admit to yourself … if you had to reveal it to someone else, how would you want him or her to respond? I can tell you that I don’t want to hear a solution to my problem. I don’t need fixing advice. I also don’t want averted eyes, turning-away body language, gasps suppressing dismay or disgust. I want … I need … acceptance. Just listening. Nothing more … yet. More than anything else, I need to feel safe. And if I don’t, well, then building up will have to be left to the therapist.

1 Timothy 3:10 - A Fool-Proof Test
* Every year the NFL holds a combine where they test players’ skills and abilities.
* They want players in whom they can build a winning team.
* Paul is giving advice to Timothy on who to bring on the leadership team in the church.
* 1 Timothy 3 gives all sorts of qualifications (we did a study on it - Leadership 101).
* Vs 10 - “They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.”
* Put them in the combine before you put them on the team.
* Do you know the best way to test someone?
* Give them a

task and tell them to do it consistently - see how they respond.
* Faithful in the

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= Faithful in the

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.
* Two applications:
* Building your team / friendships.
* Living your life - are you being faithful in the little?

Psalms 116:12-14 - A Powerful Question
* The question:
* Vs 12 - “What shall I return to the Lord for all his goodness to me?”
* The answer:
* Vs 13 - “I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord.”
* Vs 14 - “I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people.”
* In gratitude to God for all He’s done for me, I will:
*

*

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*

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