Jesus’s tree and its fruit illustration teaches us the central issue that affects all marriages

Jesus lets us know that there is a direct connection between the fruit of the tree and its root

For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. —Luke 6:43-44

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. —Luke 6:45

So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also own selves, because you had become very dear to us. —1 Thessalonians 2:8

Clarity // We make it easy for people to understand and participate

Low-Level Clarity

If you don’t change the root problem, you won’t change the fruit problem.

Three Common “Apple Nailing” Strategies

Threat

If threats could produce lasting change, Jesus wouldn’t be needed

Change is an actof power and grace

Manipulation

Manipulation isn’t romance. It’s not love.It’s a transaction.

Guilt

Guilt communicates “You’re not doing enough.”

Threat, manipulation and guilt are attempts to change the character of your significant other

You’re dealing with the fruit problem, not the root problem.

That fruit problem is a root problem.

All marriage problems are heart problems

You cannot solve your marital problems (parental or relational) with threats, manipulation, negotiations or guilt.

Your fruit problem is a root problem.

Lasting change will always travel through the pathway of the heart

I am my biggest marriage problem

The deepest problem you have (in marriage, in parenting, in life) is not outside of you, it’s inside of you.

Your struggle is not with me, it’s with Jesus

Low-level clarity in marriage is that all fruit problems are root problems. We have heart problems.

High-Level
Clarity

We see marriage as a paradigm for our personal happiness

God sees marriage as a paradigm for our personal holiness

God knows you can’t be truly happy without holiness

A paradigm shift is needed on both levels

Excellence // We live and work in a way that inspires others and honors God

BIG IDEA

Your fruit problem is a root problem, and God’s transforming grace is the only cure