
Lesson Two: Press On to deeper Friendships
Once, while sitting around with my small group, my “Band of Brothers”, we tossed around this simple question: what’s your greatest need as a man right now? For two hours everyone responded with unique answers that spoke to their unique life circumstances but, interestingly, they all shared one profound bottom line.
- I’m failing and discouraged and….
- I’m not hitting my potential and…
- I’m shaky on whether I’m loved or not and…
- I feel unaccepted and …
- I’ve got this really tough situation right now and….
“ and… I could really use a good friend to walk through this with me.”
I was reflecting with my son, Tim, on the popularity of FaceBook (back when that was the social media rage) and asked “What’s up with this thing? What’s the attraction?” “It’s connection, dad! People want to be connected!” He thought it was obvious.
And it is. God formed us as relational beings. In Gen 2:18, God said, point-blank, that it is not good for man to be alone. He made relationships incredibly desirable to us, built into us a drive for friendship, for community. Yet, I’ve heard that something like 90% of us guys over 35 don’t have even one close friend. In this week’s study, you will read what the scriptures teach on the subject and discuss how you can go about establishing lifelong deep friendships where you truly do life together.
Warm-Up Question:
Tell the guys in your group about your best friend when growing up. What made it such a good friendship?
Bible Study
This week you will focus on the book of Proverbs with its wealth of wise teaching on friendship. Take a look at this selection of verses from Proverbs. As you read, divide them into categories by identifying common themes. Each proverb, if read in its context will lead you to many more words of wisdom; if you can, please read more widely than just these verses listed here:
Proverbs 12:26
“A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”Proverbs 13:20
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”Proverbs 16:28
“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and gossip separates close friends.”Proverbs 17:17
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born in a time of adversity.”Proverbs 18:24
“The man who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”Proverbs 22:24 –25
“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.”Proverbs 27:9
“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.”Proverbs 27:17
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
Discussion Questions
What’s some advice you can take from Proverbs on being or making friends?
What are some of the challenges of developing good friendships?
What are the qualities of good friendships?
Talk by Dave Dummitt
You are now going to take time to discuss and apply the talk given by Dave Dummitt at the 2022 No Regrets Men’s Conference. The talk is called, “A Friend Indeed” and it can be found on the No Regrets app under Conference Media/2022 Platform talks.
David Dummitt is an innovative leader with a strong passion to see church leaders win and have fun doing it. He is a “pastor to pastors,” committed to equipping and coaching church leaders to lead themselves and lead their churches well. He became the Senior Pastor at Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago in June of 2021. Dave was the founding and senior pastor at 2|42 Community Church in Michigan which started as a team of 35 people meeting in his living room and grew to 10,000 people attending weekly in seven campus locations.
Discussion Questions
In the last decade, how has social media impacted your significant relationships with family, friends or colleagues?
If a challenge came up in your life, who has your back? Who among your significant relationships would be certain that you have their back?
How might you provide support to a friend who has become more successful than you?
Based on Proverbs 27:27, how can we sharpen one another? How do you encourage your friends to make them better? How can you avoid tempting them?
What are some strategies you could use to walk through a conflict with a friend so that your friendship remains intact?
What does it look like for this group to become better friends with each other?
Each man share one application from the study today.
Sharing and Prayer Time
What challenges are you facing this week that you would like the men to pray about?
Each man share what they must do to become a better friend.
Pray for each other.
Wrap Up
Gather together as a large group read again one of the verses from Proverbs and then the leader will close in prayer.
Assignment for Next Week
For next week you will be listening to the talk given by Afshin Ziafat at the 2022 No Regrets Men’s conference. The talk was entitled: ‘How a man’s work matters to God’ and can be found on the No Regrets App under conference media, 2022 Platform speakers. There is a place for notes in Lesson Three.
*The app will not necessarily save your fill-in notes. Please click on email and email the lesson with your notes to yourself.