R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Why Marriage
Part of Why Marriage?—Marriage Series
October 14, 2021

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R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Why Marriage
October 17, 2021

Ephesians 5:1-33

1 Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.
3 But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; 4 neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. 5 For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not be partakers with them.

8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), 10 finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. 11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. 13 But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. 14 Therefore He says:

​​“Awake, you who sleep,
​​Arise from the dead,
​​And Christ will give you light.”

15 See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, 16 redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
17 Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, 20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

The focus of marriage is , His love, sacrifice and authority in relation to the church.

Esther 1:16-18

16 And Memucan answered before the king and the princes: “Queen Vashti has not only wronged the king, but also all the princes, and all the people who are in all the provinces of King Ahasuerus. 17 For the queen’s behavior will become known to all women, so that they will despise their husbands in their eyes, when they report, ‘King Ahasuerus commanded Queen Vashti to be brought in before him, but she did not come.’ 18 This very day the noble ladies of Persia and Media will say to all the king’s officials that they have heard of the behavior of the queen. Thus there will be excessive contempt and wrath.

The Spirit’s presence and power is for us to accomplish unity in our relationships.

Galatians 5:16

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

Colossians 1:9

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives,

You have to

before you can respect, and you have to respect before you can fully love. This is a tremendously spiritually therapeutic process, an of myself so I can grow more in my love for others. —Gary Thomas

1 Peter 3:1-7

1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Matthew 7:12

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Mutual respect in a relationship will make selflessness .

Remember the reality of creation and the .

Genesis 2-3

1 John 1:5-10

5 This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.
8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.

Many folks are disillusioned with marriage because they have of their spouse that only God can fulfill.

Wives need:

Closeness – she need to feel you are connected to her, you want to be with her
Openness – she needs you to be open about what is going inside you
Understanding – just listen don’t try and fix her
Peacemaking – she needs to hear “forgive me.”
Loyalty – she needs to know you’re committed to her, are you a one woman man
Esteem – she needs to be honored and cherished by you

Husbands need:

Conquest – appreciate his desire to work and achieve
Hierarchy – appreciate his desire to protect and provide
Authority – he desires to serve and to lead
Insight – he desires to analyze and counsel
Relationship – he desires a shoulder to shoulder friendship
Sexuality – he desires sexual intimacy

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Life Group Homework

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
October 17, 2021

Getting to Know You

  1. Share something about you, not very personal, that most people might not know? (example: I met the Queen of England)

Going Deeper

  1. What are some practical ways love and respect can be shown in your home? Ask your spouse what items on the list most spoke to them and how they best receive it. (If single ask your friends or parents)

  1. Read 1 John 4:18-21 and 1 Peter 3:1-7. Both writers speak to the power of fear. How does fear in us destroy our desire to show love or respect?

  1. Read James 3. What is the power of our tongue and how does James encourage us to tame our tongue and use it for good? How would this look in our relationships and showing love and respect?