Making a Heart to Heart Connection ~
Parenting is an
Our
God is a God of Freedom, not of Control ~
Galations 5:1
So, Christ has truly set us free.
Now make sure that you stay free,
And don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.
Proverbs 27:17 (NLT)
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of course of your life.
(EASY)
Be careful how you think. Your thoughts make you the person that you are.
If our parenting becomes teaching obedience & compliance our children may miss the whole lesson about Freedom.
2 Cor. 3:16-18 Easy
17.The Lord is the same as the Spirt. And when the Lord’s Spirit is with anyone, that person is free.
18. We show the power of the Lord to other people. It is like God has removed a cloth from over or faces. He is changing us so that we become more and more like him.
We show how great God is more and more clearly. It is the Lord who does all this, by the work of his Spirit.
2 Timothy 1:7 NLT & Easy
For God has not given us a spirit of feat and timidity, but of power, love and self discipline.
Be strong like that, because God has given us his Spirit. And his Spirit does not cause us to be afraid. Instead, he cause us to be strong to serve God.
He helps us to love God and other people. And he helps us to rule ourselves properly.
We should train our kids from the inside out in Freedom -remove
The heart of God towards us is that we would learn to handle tons of
We should learn how to choose those things that build a relationship of love when we have unlimited options.
Will we make choices of love, freedom, peace, honor and truth when we could choose selfishness, pain, chaos or lies.
We need to teach or kids in love & understanding when their making negative choices -they may not know.
It’s easy to mistake obedience or passive aggressiveness for a good relationship.
Proverbs 22:6 (NLT)
Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.
(AMP)
Train up a child in the way he should go (teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents), Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Are we preparing our children to constraint themselves among unlimited options or to require external constraints?
We need to spend time developing, cultivating and facilitating the way our child should go.
The way our child should go is the way of Freedom to be who they were destined to be.
God has put a design & destiny within our children.
When we train our children to obey by presenting an external threat, we handicap their understanding of how the Kingdom of Heaven works.
• Side note -Lord’s Prayer
We cannot introduce our children to the Kingdom of God if its not
Making a heart to heart connection with our child replaces the disrespect factory and introduces the Honor factory.
A primary way that we show honor to one another is by sharing power and control in our relationships.
When we help our children practice using power from the time their little they become powerful people who are not afraid of the forces outside of them.
They learn to think and problem solve.
They learn to draw from the power within them, the power of the Holy Spirit, to direct their lives toward their goals in life.
They become skilled at wielding decisions -light sabers/Star wars ref.
Our kids will mess up, creatively just as we did!
Introduce freedom to make mistakes/practice messing up while they have the safety net in our home.
When we create a safe place for them to fail and
You can handle my mistakes. I can be myself and you can find out about who I am. I can practice life and I can run to you in my time of trouble, you won’t turn on me ~ there is no one who has demonstrated love like you have to me.”
John 3:16
Jesus is a super-sized version of love, freedom and a safe place.
There is nothing that can separate us from his love.
We must purpose in our hearts to maintain an attitude toward or children that communicates “I will not allow anything to be more important to me than my connection with you.”
Homework
Obedience
Respect level
Success at chores, etc. will never be more important than my connection with you.
There is nothing I will allow to sever the connection on my side and I will work to let you experience the truth of that promise so that I can help cast out the anxiety in your life.
Anxiety needs to cast out of our lives.
Shalom Peace of God.
Loving on
Why could God introduce a poor choice in the Garden of Eden?
He had a plan for every possible outcome including the worst.
God wasn’t freaked out by the fact that we could blow it.
He didn’t hid the tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil ~ it was right in the center!
The Word of God/ Truth/Love need to be our foundation in our heart & mind.
Our beliefs set us up for our interpretations and those interpretations generate feelings that we act upon.
They can create a reality for us to respond to.
This is why several people can have the same experience or see the same event and walk away with completely different impressions of what just happened.
We reinforce what we believe to be true by the way we behave.
This is why we must become people who are willing to examine our behavior and ask where it’s coming from -people who seek the truth about reality.
We certainly aren’t going to be able to address the attitudes and heart behind our children’s behavior if we aren’t doing that ourselves.
What’s Normal?
Our children are constantly downloading information and accepting the
The lie that “we can control others” is the biggest lie in human relationships. If we can be delivered from this one, deeply rooted lie, then there is hope that we can change the dynamics that cause so much anxiety between people.
Obedience is a choice.
Our methods of discipline and training must reduce fear and anxiety and not generate them.
Blame is simply giving away the power to direct and change my life to someone else.
How do you respond now when someone is angry?
You reach into your belief system and you say, “You know what? I can make things happen. What this.”
And people will run around, especially if we introduce some anger and they are little people. That reinforces those lies, because you used your magical powers, and things happened.
This is why we want to be careful and review what we believe to be true.
Nobody Controls you but You.
You cannot control other people, and nobody can control you but you.
Realizing this truth is key to taking initiative to control yourself and stay true to your convictions.
God has written his word/his promises within our heart.
Fear and Love are totally at odd with each other.
There is no fear in love.
But perfect love drives out fear because fear as to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. If we want to create a normal for our family relationships in which love rules our interactions, then we simply must refuse to partner with any and all fear and punishment.
The Holy Spirit who lives within us equips us with all we need to respond to our kids and everyone else in our lives without fear – in fact to respond to them in a way that drives out fear.
Romans 8:26-27 (NLT)
The Power of our Words.
The ruling spirit of our environment is made clear through the words we choose.
It’s important to realize the power that is released when you push wind over your vocal cords.
The Greek and Hebrew words for Spirit are also the words for breath and wind.
What is that passes over your vocal cords when you speak? It is spirit.
Galations 5:22-23 (NLT) & (EASY)
We’re creating an atmosphere with the very words that we choose to use.
Understanding that bumps my “mouth permit” to a new level of responsibility ~ “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all is now,
“Don’t empower evil spirits in your environment” And if you don’t have something good in your heart, work on your heart.
If you’re home environment has created an atmosphere that allows fear and punishment; ask for forgiveness.
If we’re going to try and help our children steward their own hearts and take responsibility for the source of their words and behavior then we simply must be already doing that ourselves.
Our actions flow out of our hearts as well, and thus contribute equally to the spiritual atmosphere.
We are gatekeepers, not only of our own lives but also of our families. The health and happiness of our families is directly related to our health and happiness as parents. We are creating the atmosphere.
We are imparting to our children who we are.
Our job is to create a steady stream of
When we learn to look at our children and see their potential and destinies in God, and learn to release the power of life through our words, we become a channel for God to broadcast His heart and his grace to them.
Our words have the ability to create things in the hearts of our children.
They also reach in and pull things that have always been there to the surface.
ROMANS 4:17 (NLT)
You have the power to call those things which do not exit as though they did.
The same power causes devastation when a child encounters an angry, irresponsibly mouthed parent.
That is death to the heart and vision of a child. As parents we especially carry this powerful responsibility. We are very powerful. Point that power carefully.
Boundaries are
Examples:
As parents we should establish a punishment free-love filled and respectful environment in our homes.
Our goal as parents is to teach our children to walk in healthy relationships. The heart of a healthy relationships is love and by it’s nature, love requires a choice.
- Do your actions reinforce what you speak to your children?
- Are you being reactive or allowing God to respond through you?
- What is the environment that you are cultivating in your home?
- Are your words building up or knocking down?
- What are you confessing into their lives through prayer?