TEACHING NOTES

Self-Oriented Perfectionism:

Work hard
Don’t make errors
Work to my full potential
Set very high standards

Results:

Procrastinate
Deep feelings of inadequacy
What I DO is never quite good enough

Other-Oriented Perfectionism:

Don’t delegate
Don’t like slackers
Don’t do it unless it is done right

Results:

Lack empathy
Abrasive and demeaning humor
What OTHERS DO is never quite good enough

Socially-Prescribed Perfectionism:

Self-worth = meeting high standards
Anxiety to be perfect
Meet other’s expectations

Results:

Self-deprecating humor
Alone or depressed
Desperate
Who I AM is never quite good enough

Perfectionism says: What I do…What others do…Who I AM…is NEVER quite good enough

Perfectionism covers our deepest insecurities

Until you see yourself as a sinner, you won’t see your need for a Savior

Perfectionism:

What I do
All about me
Win approval
If I…

Grace: The Cure

What Jesus did
All about Jesus
Already approved
Because God…

I don’t have to live a perfect life…because my life is perfected in Christ

Jesus says:

What I do…
What others do…
Who I AM…
REDEEMED through LOVE

Being perfected in LOVE

Loving completely is the only thing we can perfect

TALK IT OVER

INTRODUCTION
All of us are constantly chasing something. Whether we are in the precarious pursuit of perfectionism, chasing money and possessions, the approval of other people, or a life of comfort, we all are chasing a carrot. Maybe it is time we stop chasing things out of our reach and settle into what God has for each of us.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What situations bring out your inner perfectionist?
2. Why do you think people struggle with unrealistic expectations for themselves?
3. There are three types of perfectionism: self-oriented, other-oriented, and socially prescribed. When was the last time you struggled with one of these kinds of perfectionism? How did the struggle make you feel?
4. In what ways might perfectionism mask an insecurity? How have you seen this play out in your own life?
5. Read Romans 3:20-22. Why might it be difficult to accept that we are perfected, not through our own efforts, but through our faith in Christ?
6. How can we focus on Christ and the work He’s doing in our lives rather than on our desire to make ourselves better on our own?
7. How can we prioritize loving others over chasing perfection this week?

MOVING FORWARD
Look for ways to prioritize giving love and grace to those around you this week rather than pursuing perfectionism.

CHANGING YOUR MIND

For no one can ever be made right with God by doing what the law commands. The law simply shows us how sinful we are. … We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. —Romans 3:20, 22 (NLT)