My Choice to Forgive
“The Power of Forgiveness” - Part 4
If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. —Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT)
God offers us a powerful antidote to heal the REGRETS of past mistakes. It’s called FORGIVENESS.
ONLY THE FORGIVEN CAN TRULY
GUILT is one of the most debilitating of all human emotions. It wreaks destruction in our relationships with others and in our relationship with God. Sometimes, because of the unrealistic expectations of ourselves or others, we suffer with false guilt. However, to be honest, most of the time PEOPLE FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE THEY ARE GUILTY. All of us have certain things in our life of which we’re ashamed.
Many years ago, a prominent playwright in London, England sent the following anonymous note as a joke to twenty of London’s leading citizens … “All has been found out. Leave the city at once.” All twenty citizens immediately left London!
Unresolved
But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear. —Isaiah 59:2 (KJV)
But there is a problem—your sins have cut you off from God. Because of your sin, he has turned away and will not listen anymore. —Isaiah 59:2 (NLT)
Your sins are the roadblock between you and your God. That’s why he doesn’t answer your prayers or let you see his face. —Isaiah 59:2 (CEV)
Paul tells us that a
Cling tightly to your faith in Christ, and always keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked. —1 Timothy 1:18-19 (NLT)
Remember King David? (2 Samuel 11-12)
A psalm of David, regarding the time Nathan the prophet came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba. 1 Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. 2 Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. 3 For I recognize my shameful deeds—they haunt me day and night … 7 Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me—now let me rejoice. 9 Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. 11 Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. —Psalm 51:1-3, 7-12 (NLT)
Are you tired of dealing with, living in, or running from the past? The good news is that FORGIVENESS FROM THE PAST IS POSSIBLE!
God
Satan loves sin, but he
God forgives us completely whenever we ask. But even after God forgives, the enemy will continually attempt to harass you with guilt.
The guilt we feel
The guilt we may feel AFTER we repent is called CONDEMNATION. It is sent from Satan to push us away from God.
The bad news is that PEOPLE AREN’T LIKE GOD!
Receiving God’s forgiveness is
HOW TO RECEIVE FORGIVENESS FROM OTHERS
1. Determine if you actually need to
We should seek forgiveness only from those we have truly wronged.
Say the right thing at the right time and help others by what you say. —Ephesians 4:29b (CEV)
2. Your circle of confession should be no larger than your circle of
If you’ve offended only one individual, then you need to confess your fault only to God and that person. If your sin has injured the witness of your church, then it is correct to seek forgiveness from the entire congregation. Restrict your confession to those who have been DIRECTLY AFFECTED – that is a
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results. —James 5:16 (NLT)
3. Sincerely ask for the other person’s
Many people confuse seeking forgiveness with making an apology. An apology is one-sided. It admits guilt and expresses remorse due to an offense you have committed, but it doesn’t ask for anything.
Forgiveness involves much more than that. It actually asks the person you have wronged to do something – to
26 But the man fell down before the king and begged him, ‘Oh, sir, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ 27 Then the king was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. —Matthew 18:26-27 (NLT)
4. Be prepared for a
Not every attempt at reconciliation results in a
- They may not sense that you’re truly remorseful.
- They may feel guilty themselves.
- They may expect restitution first.
- They may fear that you will repeat the offense.
- They may not want to reestablish the relationship.
If the other person refuses to forgive you immediately, don’t be discouraged. Sometimes the wounds we inflict on others – even unintentional ones – are quite deep. They may need time before they can grant forgiveness, or perhaps they will never be willing to forgive, but that is between them and God. REMEMBER THAT YOU CANNOT DEMAND FORGIVENESS! But whether or not the other party forgives, you will have the freedom of a clear conscience in your relationship with them … and in your relationship with God!
Because of this, I always try to maintain a clear conscience before God and everyone else. —Acts 24:16 (NLT)
When we love others, we know that we belong to the truth, and we feel at ease in the presence of God. —1 John 3:19 (CEV)
HOW TO GIVE FORGIVENESS TO
Years ago, a man was rushed to the hospital after contracting rabies from a dog bite. A cure had not yet been discovered, and he was going to die. He asked the doctor for pen and paper, and the doctor said, “I’m glad to see your working on your will.” The man replied, “This isn’t a will. This is a list of all the people I’m going to bite before I die!”
The Bible calls that desire VENGEANCE, and vengeance that is harbored
Look after each other so that none of you will miss out on the special favor of God. Watch out that no bitter root of unbelief rises up among you, for whenever it springs up, many are corrupted by its poison. —Hebrews 12:15 (NLT)
HOLDING ON to vengeance is the source of bitterness, but RELEASING vengeance (through forgiveness) is the antidote to bitterness.
FORGIVENESS IS AN ANTIDOTE TO NEEDLESS SUFFERING!
Forgiving others is in
In Part Two of this series, we talked about the three steps we must take in granting forgiveness to others:
o We acknowledge that a wrong has occurred.
o We recognize that there is an obligation for repayment.
o We CHOOSE to release our offender from that obligation and to cover the loss ourselves.
HOW CAN WE KNOW THAT WE HAVE TRULY FORGIVEN OUR OFFENDER FROM OUR HEART?
Here is a three-point checklist for your heart from the story of Joseph:
1. True forgiveness resists unnecessary
In dealing with his brothers’ offenses toward him, Joseph sought to protect them from needless humiliation. Mature Christians don’t need to run to others or to the Pastor with every little hurt – they deal with it privately!
Since Joseph could no longer control his feelings in front of his servants, he sent them out of the room. When he was alone with his brothers, he told them, “I am Joseph.” —Genesis 45:1 (CEV)
2. True forgiveness
The Bible teaches that there are two types of sorrow that accompany sin. One is a
For godly grief and the pain God is permitted to direct, produce a repentance that leads and contributes to salvation and deliverance from evil, and it never brings regret; but worldly grief (the hopeless sorrow that is characteristic of the pagan world) is deadly [breeding and ending in death]. —2 Corinthians 7:10 (AMP)
It is obvious that Joseph had risen above his past, because he allowed his brothers to rise above their past! If you can’t let others
Don’t worry or blame yourselves for what you did. God is the one who sent me ahead of you to save lives. —Genesis 45:5 (CEV)
3. True forgiveness CONTINUALLY releases our offender from their obligation to us.
Joseph had truly forgiven his brothers; he had no desire for
19 But Joseph told them, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, to judge and punish you? 20 As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil. He brought me to the high position I have today so I could save the lives of many people. 21 No, don’t be afraid. Indeed, I myself will take care of you and your families.” And he spoke very kindly to them, reassuring them. —Genesis 45:5 (CEV)
Forgiveness isn’t a one-time action of the heart, but a
Joseph knew what it was to spend time in a physical prison, so he was determined not to spend time in an emotional one! He chose to release his brothers permanently, knowing that in the process he was also releasing himself! He never wanted to go back to either jail again!
Settle it in your heart forever that forgiveness is a