Group Study Guide
Date: February 18-19, 2023
Speaker: Dr. Kurt Bjorklund
Series: Hidden Hurts
Message: #7 - Abuse
Scripture
1 In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David. 2 Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself ill. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her. 3 Now Amnon had an adviser named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. —2 Samuel 13:1-3 (NIV)
11 But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, my sister.”
12 “No, my brother!” she said to him. “Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing. 13 What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.” 14 But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.
15 Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out!”
16 “No!” she said to him. “Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me.”
But he refused to listen to her. 17 He called his personal servant and said, “Get this woman out of my sight and bolt the door after her.” 18 So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing an ornate robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. 19 Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went. —2 Samuel 13:11-19 (NIV)
20 Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman.
21 When King David heard all this, he was furious. 22 And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar. —2 Samuel 13:20-22 (NIV)
Notes
3 Responses
- Ignoring It (v. 21)
- Avenging It (v. 23-29)
- Memorializing It (v. 13,20)
Psalm 63 - Two Things
- Seek (v. 1-7)
- Cling (v. 8)
Study Guide
Step One: Open
Read 2 Samuel 13:1-20 and pray to open your time together in God’s word. (Please be particularly mindful and sensitive to others’ experiences during this topic)
Step Two: Icebreaker (Optional)
This winter has been particularly mild thus far. Is this exciting or disappointing for you and why?
Step Three: Discuss
1. What stood out to you the most in this weekend’s teaching? What was challenging, encouraging, or confusing to you?
2. Over the next several chapters we see the “evil…out of your own house” that Nathan the prophet had warned David about in 2 Sam. 12:11. How does this speak to the consequences and ramifications of sin?
3. Verses 1 and 2 signal a lustful, uncontrollable obsession that Amnon had for his half-sister. What kind of behaviors do you think led to this obsession, and how can we be aware of these tendencies within ourselves?
4. In verse 5 Jonadab, Amnon’s crafty adviser gives him a plan to rape Tamar. What culpability do those who propose evil plans have compared to those who actually carry them out?
5. In verses 12-13, Tamar appealed to Amnon on various levels giving reasons why he should not rape her including the wicked nature of the act which violated Lev. 18:11, the fact that she would be an object of disgrace, and even appealed to fulfilling his physical desire through marriage (which would not have actually been allowed by Mosaic law (Lev. 18:9, Deut. 27:22). Why would God permit something so heinous that He obviously despises Himself?
6. After abusing Tamar, Amnon feels an intense hatred for her (v. 15). How does this point to the fact that the culmination of our sinful desires ultimately leaves us dissatisfied?
7. One of the objections that people have against God is that they have difficulty believing in a God who has wrath and punishes people. How does this passage point to the need for a God who will ultimately punish all injustice?
8. How can victims of sin and abuse find healing and comfort from/through Jesus?
Step Four: Close in Prayer
Pray for those who have been or are currently experiencing abuse. Pray also for God to bring repentance to those who have committed such abuse, including our own evil hearts.