The Connection Code
Part 1: Care Intelligently
Loneliness is a significant global concern, affecting a substantial portion of the population:
It’s Global: Globally about one in three adults report feeling lonely.
It Hits Canada Hard: More than 40% of Canadians reported feeling lonely some or all of the time.
It Hits Youth Really Hard: Age 18 to 24 is particularly affected, with 59% reporting feelings of loneliness.
It Hits Young Canadian Men Really, Really Hard: 63% of 18- to 34-year-old Canadian men experienced considerable loneliness and isolation.
So, what’s the big deal? People are lonely. Why does it matter? It matters because LONELINESS IS ONE OF THE UNHEALTHIEST THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN. Dr. George Vaillant, Harvard: “The only thing that really matters in life are your relationships with other people.”
Loneliness is distinct from the number of friends a person has or how much time they spend alone - but is defined by a longing for greater social connection. You are lonely when your appetite for social connection is unsatisfied.
Genesis 2:18-25: “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So, the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky…But still there was no helper just right for him. So, the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man’” … Now the man and his wife
were both naked but felt no shame.”
o Adam Had Perfect Intimacy and Fellowship With God,
o Adam Was Completely Whole As A Person and Had All His Needs Met,
o Adam Had A Purpose And A Daily Task.
BUT Adam was not complete. The 1st thing in the Bible that God said was “…not good…” was that man was alone v.18 So, He made a companion perfectly matched for him:
” Helper ” (Hebrew: ‘Ezer) The Hebrew word for “helper” is ‘ezer, which does not imply inferiority. The same word is used for God helping Israel (e.g., Psalm 121:1-2, Deuteronomy 33:7), meaning a strong, supportive aid. Eve was created as a necessary and powerful partner for Adam, not a subordinate.
“Suitable for Him” (Hebrew: Kenegdo) The phrase “suitable for him” is from “kenegdo”, meaning “corresponding to him” or “complementary to him.” This implies equality—Eve was not identical to Adam, but she was his perfect counterpart.
God does not desire that ANY of us go through our lives walking and working and living and being and struggling ALONE. God designed us to have companionship, to have Safe Community, and to not be lonely.
So, what is the answer to the loneliness epidemic? We need The Connection Code, which is a simple 4-Step Process that is Biblically based and grounded in neuroscience and psychology:
Step 1: Care Intelligently
When you care for you, you make it possible for you to care for others. Self-care is about caring for yourself intelligently and giving people the best of you, instead of what’s left of you. You can’t pour from an empty cup:
♥ Matthew 22:35-40 (CEV) “35 One of them was an expert in the Jewish Law. So he tried to test Jesus by asking, 36 “Teacher, what is the most important commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus answered: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. 38 This is the first and most important commandment. 39 The second most important commandment is like this one. And it is, “Love others as much as you love yourself.” 40 All the Law of Moses and the Books of the Prophets are based on these two commandments.”
Self-Care & Self-Love is never commanded in the Bible, it is assumed. In other words, God did not tell you to love yourself, but the assumption is made that you would so that you would have the ability to love others. I need to love and connect with me before I can really love and connect with you. The goal is not inward but outward. To love and connect with others, we need to love and connect with ourselves.
Self-Care is Showing Up As The
Then You Can Care For Others…
The challenge for EACH Person Is: What Version Of Me Will Show Up?
Though We Don’t Seek To Mislead, We All Wrestle To Integrate Our Various Selves Into One Whole Person.
That Integration Process Is “
Will We Show Up As The Best Version of Us, Or The Lesser Version Of Us?
Genesis 35:16-18:
“16 Then they moved on from Bethel. While they were still some distance from Ephrath, Rachel began to give
birth and had great difficulty. 17 And as she was having great difficulty in childbirth, the midwife said to her, “Don’t despair, for you have another son.” 18 As she breathed her last—for she was dying—she named her son
Ben-Oni. But his father named him Benjamin.”
What Version Of You Will Emerge? Genesis 35:19-21:
“So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem). Over her tomb Jacob set up a pillar, and to this day that pillar marks Rachel’s tomb. Israel moved on…”
Showing Up As Your Best Self:
1)
Your Potential Is Clear:
“Benjamin” Son of My Right Hand
“Israel” “Prince Of God”
2) Carve Out Your
“Rachel died and was buried…”
Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
♥ We Do Not Carry Our Burdens Alone.
♥ Gratitude Shifts Our Focus.
♥ God’s Peace Is Supernatural.
♥ God’s Peace Is Stronger Than Our Problems.
3) Set Up Your Pillars
“Set Up A Pillar…”
4) Move Ahead With
Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s
masterpiece. He has created us anew in
Christ Jesus, so we can do the good
things he planned for us long ago.”
5) Lean Heavy On
♥ Be Vulnerable
♥ Be Authentic
♥ Be Generous
♥ Use Your Pain To Help Others 3
