Pressing Forward Through Grief

2 Samuel 19:1-15
Darrin Mariott, Lead Pastor

Big Idea: Even in moments of grief, we can press forward in hope, trusting in God’s goodness and the power of the Holy Spirit.
2 Samuel 19:1-15
1 It was told Joab, “Behold, the king is weeping and mourning for Absalom.”2 So the victory that day was turned into mourning for all the people, for the people heard that day, “The king is grieving for his son.”3 And the people stole into the city that day as people steal in who are ashamed when they flee in battle.4 The king covered his face, and the king cried with a loud voice, “O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!”5 Then Joab came into the house to the king and said, “You have today covered with shame the faces of all your servants, who have this day saved your life and the lives of your sons and your daughters and the lives of your wives and your concubines6 because you love those who hate you and hate those who love you. For you have made it clear today that commanders and servants are nothing to you, for today I know that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased.7 Now therefore arise, go out and speak kindly to your servants, for I swear by the LORD, if you do not go, not a man will stay with you this night, and this will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now.”8 Then the king arose and took his seat in the gate. And the people were all told, “Behold, the king is sitting in the gate.” And all the people came before the king. Now Israel had fled every man to his own home.9 And all the people were arguing throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, “The king delivered us from the hand of our enemies and saved us from the hand of the Philistines, and now he has fled out of the land from Absalom.10 But Absalom, whom we anointed over us, is dead in battle. Now therefore why do you say nothing about bringing the king back?”11 And King David sent this message to Zadok and Abiathar the priests: “Say to the elders of Judah, ‘Why should you be the last to bring the king back to his house, when the word of all Israel has come to the king?12 You are my brothers; you are my bone and my flesh. Why then should you be the last to bring back the king?’13 And say to Amasa, ‘Are you not my bone and my flesh? God do so to me and more also, if you are not commander of my army from now on in place of Joab.’”14 And he swayed the heart of all the men of Judah as one man, so that they sent word to the king, “Return, both you and all your servants.”15 So the king came back to the Jordan, and Judah came to Gilgal to meet the king and to bring the king over the Jordan.

I. Pressing Forward Through Grief (vv. 1-8a)

A. David has quelled Absalom’s rebellion, but he remains lost in
grief over the death of his son. David may have the victory, but
his sorrow is preventing the nation from moving forward. Joab
confronts David, reminding him of his responsibility to his
troops and to Israel as king.

B. The problem wasn’t David grieving over his son; that’s a natural
response to such a loss. The problem was that his refusal to be
comforted and the neglect of his duties were putting the
kingdom in danger. In Joab’s rebuke, we see:

1. The importance of perspective (vv. 1-6) – As king, David
needed an outward, not inward, focus.

2. The importance of priorities (vv. 7-8) – Joab reminded
David that the kingdom was on a knife’s edge.

C. Part of the lesson here is that sometimes we need to set aside
personal grief to attend to larger responsibilities. But it’s also
important to remember that there is no single formula for how
we deal with grief, or a timeline to get past it.

II. Pressing Forward in Healing (vv. 8b-15)

A. Squabbles between the northern tribes and Judah, along with
fear of David’s retribution, are keeping Israel in disarray (vv. 9-
10). David must act quickly to restore order and unite Israel
under his leadership if he is to move the nation forward.

B. In pressing forward, we see David:

1. Extend forgiveness (vv. 11-12; cf. Eph. 4:31-32; Col. 3:12-
13) – David wants restoration, not retribution.
Ephesians 4:31-32
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

2. Extend friendship (vv. 13-15) – David seeks pardon rather
than punishment for those who followed Absalom.

3. Expel a threat (v. 13) – Joab’s insolence was becoming a
threat to David that needed to be addressed.

C. To press forward in healing, it’s crucial to focus on major issues
and not get sidetracked by pride, jealousy, or revenge. We must
look to Messiah Jesus and His example (cf. 1 Pet. 2:20-25).
1 Peter 2:20-25
20 For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God.21 For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.22 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth.23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.25 For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.