The Gaps
God’s ideal plan is to have a husband and a wife raise godly offspring together with the wife submitting to the husband’s leadership, the husband sacrificially loving his wife and the kids obey the parents.
Statistics show us, however, that…
Around 50% of marriages end in divorce
22% of households with children 18 or under are led by single moms
40% of married couples with children (families) in the US are step-couples
1-5% of children are being raised by grandparents
This isn’t to mention…
There are marriages where one spouse is following Jesus and the other isn’t
Both spouses aren’t following Jesus, but the kid is trying to
Mom and/or Dad is not living out their biblical role
Widows and widowers
Couples that can’t even have kids
Marriage relationships that are abusive
Parents that are abusive to their child
God has set out an ideal plan for the home, but because of decisions we make, decisions that others make, and unforeseen circumstances that happen in life, a lot of people fall outside of God’s ideal plan…what do we do with this?
Below are some scriptural references to marriage/divorce and other nuances that the Bible speaks to: Matt. 5:27-32 — Matt. 19:1-11 — Romans 7:2-3 — 1 Corinthians 7 — 1 Peter 3:1-2
Along with what God’s word says, there are also some things you need to know about the “gaps”
1) While God does hate divorce, it is not the ultimate and unpardonable sin. There may be consequences to that decision, but God offers forgiveness, grace, reconciliation, restoration and redemption…your story is not over.
Micah 7:18-20 (NLT)
2) For anyone living outside of God’s plan, He offers you forgiveness, and grace if you would simply come to Him and confess your sins…
1 John 1:9 (NKJV)
3) While God does call the man to lead, if he isn’t, the mom, may have to assume that role for the sake of the kids. Pray for your husband to step up and be the leader that God intends for him to be.
4) While God’s ideal plan is for a husband and a wife to raise kids together, single parents…you may have to assume both roles for a season or for a long time. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
5) While scripture does tell women to submit to their husbands, this does not mean that you have to subject yourself to any kind of abuse…verbal, physical, or emotional. You can remove yourself from that environment without jumping right to divorce.
6) While scripture does tell kids to obey their parents, this does not mean that you are to subject yourself to any kind of abuse…verbal, physical, or emotional. You have a voice…use it. Share with a trusted adult what concerns you have.
7) While scripture does make it clear that we are to submit to our authority, we do not do that if our authority (Husband, parent) is telling us to sin and go against God’s word. We submit to our authority, but God is our ultimate authority and we obey Him first and foremost.
Your part when there is a gap
• Be willing to ask for and accept help
Galatians 6:2 (NIV)— 2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
The church’s part when there is a gap
• Stand in it.
• We need one another.
Love one another (John 13:34 - This command occurs at least 16 times)
Be devoted to one another (Romans 12:10)
Honor one another above yourselves (Romans 12:10)
Live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16)
Build up one another (Romans 14:19; 1 Thessalonians 5:11)
Be likeminded towards one another (Romans 15:5)
Accept one another (Romans 15:7)
Admonish one another (Romans 15:14; Colossians 3:16)
Greet one another (Romans 16:16)
Care for one another (1 Corinthians 12:25)
Serve one another (Galatians 5:13)
Bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2)
Forgive one another (Ephesians 4:2, 32; Colossians 3:13)
Be patient with one another (Ephesians 4:2; Colossians 3:13)
Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15, 25)
Be kind and compassionate to one another (Ephesians 4:32)
Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs (Ephesians 5:19)
Submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21, 1 Peter 5:5)
Consider others better than yourselves (Philippians 2:3)
Look to the interests of one another (Philippians 2:4)
Bear with one another (Colossians 3:13)
Teach one another (Colossians 3:16)
Comfort one another (1 Thessalonians 4:18)
Encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
Exhort one another (Hebrews 3:13)
Stir up [provoke, stimulate] one another to love and good works (Hebrews 10:24)
Show hospitality to one another (1 Peter 4:9)
Employ the gifts that God has given us for the benefit of one another (1 Peter 4:10)
Clothe yourselves with humility towards one another (1 Peter 5:5)
Pray for one another (James 5:16)
Confess your faults to one another (James 5:16)
Galatians 6:3 (NLT)