Masquerade - a false show or pretense.

Are we really happy here
With this lonely game we play?
Looking for words to say
Searching but not finding understanding anywhere
We’re lost in a masquerade

Social Identity Theory: This theory suggests that people derive a sense of self-esteem and identity from the groups they belong to. As a result, individuals may emphasize certain group memberships or identities (such as professional affiliations, social roles, or cultural backgrounds) over their individual characteristics to gain social acceptance and enhance self-esteem .

Impression Management: Impression management highlights how individuals consciously shape how others perceive them. People often present themselves in ways that align with social norms or expectations, sometimes masking their true selves to fit in or achieve certain goals .

Self-Discrepancy Theory: This theory, explores the gap between an individual’s actual self and their ideal or ought self. People may strive to present an idealized version of themselves to align with personal or societal expectations, even if it doesn’t fully reflect their true self .

Online Identity and Social Media: Research on social media behavior indicates that people often curate their online personas to highlight positive aspects of their lives or to appear more socially desirable. This curated self-presentation can differ significantly from their offline identities, demonstrating a preference for being perceived in a particular way over who we actually are.

These studies collectively show that individuals often prefer to be perceived in ways that enhance their social acceptance, self-esteem, or alignment with personal and societal ideals, even if these perceptions do not fully align with their true selves.

Are we really happy here
With this game we play?
… are we lost in a masquerade?

So where do I find my Value and Worth?

Christ’s message expresses, Finding one’s worth is not in external factors such as wealth, appearance, or social status, but in being loved and accepted by God unconditionally. BUT is that what the Christian Church communicates to the world?

In my church growing up it felt like a masquerade… It didn’t matter if you were a farmer, factory worker, construction worker or a child in school… every Sunday morning, we all dressed like white-collar business workers in suits and dresses.

And while in our Sunday finest, it seemed that Pastor’s goal was to make us all feel shameful, sinful, and in need of an altar call, to confess week after week our unworthiness.

Counter this with the example of Christ’s ministry… Which was always speaking value, life, and acceptance to everyone… especially those rejected by the religious.

We find our identity in our unique design from God.

Psalms 139:13-14 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Ephesians 2:10 We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Luke 12:6-7 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Before Christianity, the concept of human self-worth was almost nonexistent.

My entire ministry, especially here at Godwhy has been to try and create a space where people can be real and genuine without feeling pressure to conform to any Christian structure, but to allow God to mold and make each person into His image, in His time and in His way.

At GodWhy we attempt to make space for everyone. And I believe we largely succeeded, even though we are not perfect.

The religious leaders of Jesus day made judgments about all people, and according to their judgments, they decided who they would associate with. Jesus made associations with everyone with no guarantees of how they would respond and no pressure to make them respond in a certain way.

At the wedding in Cana in Galilee Jesus made approximately 120 gallons of wine, where people were already intoxicated, according to the scriptures, he didn’t carefully weed out the people who would drink responsibly.

Matthew 9:10-13 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, ‘Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?’ On hearing this, Jesus said, ‘It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice (religious observances).

(Jesus said no guarantees about how anyone in that room would respond, but they would clearly know he loved them, regardless of how they might react to that love… a love they had never experienced from the religious leaders)

John 4:39-41 Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, ‘He told me everything I ever did.’ So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days. And because of his words, many more became believers. (but the overwhelming majority of Samaria probably did not)… But they experienced something they had never experienced before a Jewish Rabi loved them enough to come to them and show them God’s Love)

Whether we invite the community to GodWhy on Sundays, or to events like the Halloween bash, or when friends are invited to whiskey night discussions, or when we make our building available to the community… dance recital last night or hosting the Collab & Earth Firsts Affirming Hendersonville Event next Sunday afternoon… like Jesus at the wedding, or Matthew’s home, or in Samaria we never have control over how healthy or unhealthy any person may be, but like Christ we will strive to effectively communicate “you are loved and safe in this place, simply because you were created by and bear the image of God.”

I’m reminded of the quote “People don’t care what you know until they know that you care.”

What I see today is an alarming number of Christians and Christian churches model the example of the Pharisees, not Christ… constantly, judging whom they will accept, who they will associate with, and to whom they will show the love of God to.

Parable of the weeds (Matthew 13:24)…. Jesus unusual farming technique, we don’t chance losing one!

GodWhy is that field… you don’t experience a masquerade, or feel you must play a role, or perform in any way to be loved. And we trust that the love of God experienced here will prove itself to be life-transforming. But we don’t have any guarantees…, we simply have an example sent by Christ of how we are to live and how we are to love all of his children.

References:
Tajfel, H., & Turner, J. C. (1979). An integrative theory of intergroup conflict. The social psychology of intergroup relations, 33(47), 74.
Abrams, D., & Hogg, M. A. (1988). Comments on the motivational status of self‐esteem in social identity and intergroup discrimination. European Journal of Social Psychology, 18(4), 317-334.
Goffman, E. (1959). The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. Anchor Books.
Higgins, E. T. (1987). Self-discrepancy: a theory relating self and affect. Psychological Review, 94(3), 319.
Ellison, N. B., Heino, R., & Gibbs, J. (2006). Managing impressions online: Self-presentation processes in the online dating environment. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 11(2), 415-441.
Festinger, L. (1957). A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance. Stanford University Press.