Can We Just Stop Fighting?
June 29, 2025

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1. We all handle conflict differently, but there is only ONE source of conflict.

James 4:1 - What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?

As long as you blame others for your unhappiness, you will always be unhappy.

2. Your conflicts and fights come from something that’s INSIDE of YOU

• “DESIRES” = Greek word: ἡδονῶν (hēdonōn) — fleshly desires, pleasures, selfish cravings (same in v.3) from which “hedonist” and “hedonism” are derived.

• The desire to fulfill these pleasures comes from selfishness.

James 4:2 - You want something but don’t get it…

3. The REASON you have conflict is because you want something.

James 4:2 - You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet,…

4. Your desire can be so strong that it leads to wrong or hurtful WORD and ACTIONS.

James 4:2 - … You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight.

The Goal:

What if you could pause long enough to recognize,

“I’m not getting what I want.”

5. Why aren’t your desires fulfilled?

James 4:2 - … You do not have, because you do not ask God.

• You don’t PRAY.

James 4:3 - When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

• You have SELFISH motives.

James 4:4-5 - You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. ⁵ Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely?

• You have a conflict with GOD because of your pride.

6. The cure for conflict: HUMITY.

James 4:6 - But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

A. GIVE IN TO GOD.

James 4:7 - Submit yourselves, then, to God.

Submit means: To rank under

• Before you can have peace on the outside, you need peace on the inside.

B. GET WISE TO SATAN.

James 4:7 - Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

• Satan plays on our pride and selfish thoughts: Recognize it. Resist it. Stand against it.

C. GROW CLOSER TO GOD.

James 4:8 - Come near to God and he will come near to you.

• Take a next step in your faith

D. ASK FOR FORGIVENESS.

James 4:8-9 - Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.

• Your hands represent your actions. Your heart represents your attitude.

GOD’S PROMISE!

James 4:10 - Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.