Week 4: Groundhog Date

Pastor Sheila Sorensen

Many times, we learn from our mistakes in the areas that matter least, but we repeat our mistakes in the
areas that matter most. So how can we ensure that the next time won’t be like the last time? Instead of
being a conformer, it’s time to be a transformer.

Discussion Questions:
* Name some areas in life where people quickly learn from and correct their mistakes.

* In relationships, why is it difficult to correct many of our behavior patterns?

* Check out these myths. Do you need to undo any of these beliefs? If so, which ones?

*Experience Myth: Experisnce will make me wiser.
Truth: Evaluated experience will make you wiser.

*Know-Better Myth: Since I know better, I’ll do better.
Truth: Know better does not equal do better.

*Time Myth: Time is against me.
Truth: Time if your friend.

* What’s your initial reaction to the notion “Time is your friend”?

*Read Romans 12:1–2.
* Why would Paul use the word “urge” here?

* Would you characterize yourself as a conformer or a transformer?

* Conformer: Repeats the same patterns, particularly patterns that have been culturally accepted
as standard behavior.
* Transformer: Intentionally chooses to learn from the past and change regardless of cultural
norms. Will take the time to evaluate the past and own their mistakes.

* To be able to renew your mind, it may be healthy to take a year off from dating. What would be your
biggest reservation about doing that?

Changing Your Mind
If you don’t want the next time to be like the last time, do something different in the meantime.
—Andy Stanley