Coping With Grief
1. It won’t feel like this forever.
2. You can handle it, even when you feel like you can’t.
3. Be gentle with yourself.
4. Think in cycles, not lines.
5. Your feelings are normal.
6. Grief can beget meaning.
7. You’re not alone.

https://www.mskcc.org/news/coping-grief-7-things-remember-when-dealing-loss

The Dual Process Model of Grief
The idea here is to adapt to your new reality by taking time to process your grief and taking time away from it to engage in activities of daily living.

Loss Oriented:

Grief work: Is letting oneself go through the emotions and process of grief, for through is the only way out.

An intrusion of grief: when Karen spoke about seeing a patient intubated on a TV show, or seeing a BF Myers truck. It takes you from your present place back into grief.

Relinquishing, continuing or relocating - bonds and ties:
Relinquishing - letting go of an item or an activity that was once a bond that brought you together with the one you have lost.
Continuing - continuing to perform an activity or commitment that you want shared together, but now you must do alone.
Relocating - changing the location or the context of things that used to be bonds or ties with a person you’ve lost.

Denial or avoidance of restoration changes: Denying or avoiding the changes that I need to be making. (Sell the bass boat, contact the financial counselor, clean out the closet)

_

Restoration Oriented

Attending to life changes: re-engaging with activities that are necessary for a healthy life.

Doing new things: New activities in my life that were not a part of the relationship with a person that I have lost.

Distractions from grief: Intentionally engaging in activities that are intended to get my mind off of my grief and onto something healthy and productive.

Denial or avoidance of grief: Intentionally choose to not engage or allow myself to become fixated on areas of grief.

New roles, identities, and relationships: intentionally embracing the new normal by growing in new areas that were not part of my life before the loss.

Video - Karen Ankrom

“I did not want to live with the depth of the pain”

Triggers!
Karen Ankram said one of the triggering questions is… How many children do you have?

Comes in Waves… oscillating back-and-forth

Will I ever be OK?

Experiencing guilt over enjoying life

We do not disrespect the memory of our loved ones by moving on

The days of morning listed in the Bible… Seven days for a family member… 30 days for a significant leader.

For me personally, I would not want my kids living in grief if I passed away

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Isaiah 9:6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Psalms 147:3 God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Adam -